God is So Near

The best part of waking up is having Jesus FILL my cup!...13 Jesus answered her, “Everyone who drinks this water will become thirsty again. 14 But those who drink the water that I will give them will never become thirsty again. In fact, the water I will give them will become in them a spring that gushes up to eternal life.”15 The woman told Jesus, “Sir, give me this water! Then I won’t get thirsty ..." John 4:13-15..Mornin...Wow, there is so much going on Post surgery, I hope when I have more time , if the Lord wills it, I can get a chance to share that part of my journey with you. BUT for now more importantly I'd like to post God's word as encouragement. This particular scripture I took from the GWT translation and I thoroughly feel God when He is speaking to me thru it. Stay strong friends, remember God is able!... Psalm 34 GOD’S WORD Translation (GW) [a]By David when he pretended to be insane in the presence of Abimelech; Abimelech threw him out, so David left. 34 I will thank the Lord at all times. My mouth will always praise him. 2 My soul will boast about the Lord. Those who are oppressed will hear it and rejoice. 3 Praise the Lord’s greatness with me. Let us highly honor his name together. 4 I went to the Lord for help. He answered me and rescued me from all my fears. 5 All who look to him will be radiant.[b] Their faces will never be covered with shame. 6 Here is a poor man who called out. The Lord heard him and saved him from all his troubles. 7 The Messenger of the Lord camps around those who fear him, and he rescues them. 8 Taste and see that the Lord is good. Blessed is the person who takes refuge in him. 9 Fear the Lord, you holy people who belong to him. Those who fear him are never in need. 10 Young lions go hungry and may starve, but those who seek the Lord’s help have all the good things they need. 11 Come, children, listen to me. I will teach you the fear of the Lord. 12 Which of you wants a full life? Who would like to live long enough to enjoy good things? 13 Keep your tongue from saying evil things and your lips from speaking deceitful things. 14 Turn away from evil, and do good. Seek peace, and pursue it! 15 The Lord’s eyes are on righteous people. His ears hear their cry for help. 16 The Lord confronts those who do evil in order to wipe out all memory of them from the earth. 17 Righteous people cry out. The Lord hears and rescues them from all their troubles. 18 The Lord is near to those whose hearts are humble. He saves those whose spirits are crushed. 19 The righteous person has many troubles, but the Lord rescues him from all of them. 20 The Lord guards all of his bones. Not one of them is broken. 21 Evil will kill wicked people, and those who hate righteous people will be condemned. 22 The Lord protects the souls of his servants. All who take refuge in him will never be condemned.

Because He lives...

After 2 TIA's & 2 hypertensive crisises during this last 17 months, I finally under went a PFO closure of the heart this past Monday. Feeling stronger each day. I thank the God of all comfort for carrying me thru these trials. I'd also wanted to give a quick shout thanking loved ones for the tremendous support and prayers. It's been felt. My family saw a rainbow after yesterday's storm, a true reflection of the blessings we feel God has bestowed on us. Our Joy and hope no matter the Life event is in Him. Love to all. John14:19...Because I live, you also will live.

In His Hands

SO here I am almost two years after my PFO diagnosis, TIA, and two hypertensive crisises...finally ready to move away from aspirin therapy as a treatment and onto Hole Closure. I literally ran away from this,but what I didn't realize was that I was running away from a peaceful trust in My Father...who is the Great Physician. I wasn't in fear of Death...well, we all get anxious at the thought of it, but what I mean is Chronic pain can leave you longing for that Mansion Christ promises built for you by the Wonderful Mansion Builder and so I thought about it from time to time.....HOwever those Precious Jules of mine would just leave me tugging at my heart string...I started to have such an unhealthy anxiety stir inside me that I shut down and ran full speed away from the thought of doing anything that might take me from them. I couldn't imagine them dealing with anything going wrong from it, or not being able to comfort my little one even though it is a pretty straight forward procedure. What I was forgetting is my little ones Know the Greatest comforter of all and this is training grown for them learning their own trust in Him. So today I went for my pre surgical prods and pokes and if it is Lord will I will be going in to close the hole Monday...I think my biggest fear is that I wouldn't, like so many others I know with this condition, receive the side benefit of gaining relief from the last 12 years of suffering with debilitating migraines as the add bonus. And I felt like I'd be too sad to go thru all of this and they weren't gone away with all the problems too. However, what I am realizing now is whether that too is part of God's plan for me or not...everything that I endure is Fueled by His power and nothing I suffer thru is in vain. I love my Father in Heaven I pray I can put on my brave girl cap now and hold His hand thru each step....Understanding or lack there of can lead to way too much thinking..way to much reaching for and tugging at that which we cannot control...The God of Heaven touched me today with His peace like only He can.... so thankful it rises up above and beyond my mental limitations, thwarting my human understanding, Guarding me from all things....even when that includes my emotions or the anxiety of my mind. God is able... Philipians 4:Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! 5Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. 6Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. 8Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. 9Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.

Trust Doesn't Lend Itself to Worry

This was an older blog post that I hadn't gotten a chance to load back in February. I like to know when I write something what time frame it was just to get an idea of where I was in that point of my life. So from looking at my physical journal it is telling me I wrote this February 23, 1012... I love my Sweet Jules dearly. I will and try to do everything in my power to love and protect them. Sometimes though I feel frustration... exhaustion even when they don't fully realize just how much I love them, how much I do to protect them. They don't completely get that my number one priority is guarding over them. I'll share an example with you about what I am speaking of, when their both anxious about minor things they tend to have that spill over into even more trivial matters. This leads them to asking silly questions like, "Is this milk good?", "Is this fruit fresh?" or is that counter top clean?" (and yes I do clean and buy food regularly, LOL...but seriously)... I end up wondering in those moments are they kidding me? Are they really asking me these things?...Do they not know how much their Father and I are looking out for them? Do they not realize that we wouldn't let the things that are in our power harm them or be neglectful of their needs? If we are making sure we are caring for larger more difficult matters that their little minds are oblivious to, like providing for their home, paying for their food, buying their clothes, funding their education, and trying to extend various treats their way... than surely those things are nothing for us to take care of so why are they worrying about that....(not that there's never been any near misses with a cup of spoiled milk around here, but my point being is) most of the time their questions are generated by things that have nothing really to do with the moment..it's worry and a need to control their environment. They just simply forget that we got their back and that all they need to do is put more trust in us so that they can relax a little...which leads me to my next and final point of sharing this week... aren't I guilty of those same things at times?...I must glean from that frustration I feel when the kids get that way with us and remember my own short comings in regards to trusting God. In my own worry, in my own attempts to control, what I am really doing is exuding a lack of trust in the Father. I too am limiting my parent in those moments. He's handling the minor issues and then some. To limit the Almighty God of Heaven, King of Kings, Lord of Lords, who can and will protect me from any and all harm ends up only hurting me. Trust simply doesn't lend itself to worry. To release myself from all fear and anxiety and remember just who the God of Heaven is, will only lead to a powerful trust that can not be broken. SO my goal is to grow in letting go of worry and trusting my Father's guard.....Matthew 6:34 "Therefore don't be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is it's own trouble..." I don't want to borrow trouble. I'd rather accept that any trouble before me is being handled by my Daddy. Be well, all...let nothing steal your trust in Him.

Your ways, God, are holy

As I sat very distracted today from the pain…. from the burn of the rash of my flesh, I immediately new my heart needed quieting. I tried praying…praying by myself, praying with my Hubby, and I even asked a girlfriend to pray for me thru out the day, but I still needed to get something …something I just wasn’t picking up on to taste that quieting. Why was this upsetting me so much I wondered? This wasn’t new. I live in pain most days, why today was the tolerance at such limitation? I slowly began to realize, it was life…it was going on, moving quickly, changing, arranging, and being present when I just felt so absent. It was going on around me just as it did every single day and this situation was not going to prevent it from it’s routine and so I had to remind myself not to take it for granted, not to be disappointed by it, but to gain from it’s training….I needed to remember this circumstance was a wonderful time of commune with my God. Then I prayed again...this time... TRULY praying to my God, really feeling our sole communication,the bond that came from only He and I experiencing what I was going thru this very day...only He and I...what a gift to have that intimate time with my Daddy. No one. nothing, none of it, could understand me in that moment accept for my God Father and that is okay in fact that is amazing, He is all powerful...whom else would you want to know you better than any other. Why not use this time to let Him fully and completely and lovingly quiet my heart thru His word and prayer. It seemed so elementary when placed in simplistic language form, but when you are distracted that often requires your digging down deep, & truly getting out of His way fully…. letting Him be your comfort. I get that this day. In all actuality I couldn't sustain if not for getting that this day…. I am so thankful He is holding me. The situation is still the same and life is still moving ever so presently, BUT... in this hour... I feel Hope,; I feel peace. I feel His strength and I choose to meditate on His working, not the weakness of my Flesh, but the POWER of my God…He is working and He is always working! So instead of envying those in THIS world, instead of just existing in THIS world, pretending in THIS world, by my God’s design, I choose to see past THIS World, past the pain …and draw nearer to the Father from it…I choose life. He is Able! Hang tough dear friends...He is able.

Psalm 77:
1 I cried out to God for help;
I cried out to God to hear me.
2 When I was in distress, I sought the Lord;
at night I stretched out untiring hands,
and I would not be comforted.
3 I remembered you, God, and I groaned;
I meditated, and my spirit grew faint.[b]
4 You kept my eyes from closing;
I was too troubled to speak.
5 I thought about the former days,
the years of long ago;
6 I remembered my songs in the night.
My heart meditated and my spirit asked:

7 “Will the Lord reject forever?
Will he never show his favor again?
8 Has his unfailing love vanished forever?
Has his promise failed for all time?
9 Has God forgotten to be merciful?
Has he in anger withheld his compassion?”

10 Then I thought, “To this I will appeal:
the years when the Most High stretched out his right hand.
11 I will remember the deeds of the LORD;
yes, I will remember your miracles of long ago.
12 I will consider all your works
and meditate on all your mighty deeds.”

13 Your ways, God, are holy.
What god is as great as our God?
14 You are the God who performs miracles;
you display your power among the peoples.
15 With your mighty arm you redeemed your people,
the descendants of Jacob and Joseph.

16 The waters saw you, God,
the waters saw you and writhed;
the very depths were convulsed.
17 The clouds poured down water,
the heavens resounded with thunder;
your arrows flashed back and forth.
18 Your thunder was heard in the whirlwind,
your lightning lit up the world;
the earth trembled and quaked.
19 Your path led through the sea,
your way through the mighty waters,
though your footprints were not seen.

20 You led your people like a flock
by the hand of Moses and Aaron.

The Heart of A Child

Was online most of the morning researching my congenital heart defect which, in less scarier terminology, is more specifically labeled a PFO. Had been undergoing a lot of symptoms that elude to the fact that I might need to peruse closure of it more aggressively instead of continuing with aspirin therapy to treat it. And so we've been at a cross road the last several weeks in regard to making a decision. With that said as I usually do with most things... been researching and looking into other people who seem to have complications from this condition as well and been trying to digest it all rather intensely.

My oldest who is eleven came in while I was deeply involved in a video on the procedure and asked me innocently why I was watching the footage. I informed my little one that Momma was looking into her heart condition to try to understand things better. At that time my Precious Jules proceeded to explain some things to me and very matter of factually I might add. I thought I'd share the memory on here with all of you. My eleven year old said "Mommy, why are you watching all of that, it's just making you sad. Don't be sad Mommy. If God wants you to live (reaching down and touching my chin) you WILL LIVE MOMMY (what a powerful proclamation...then continued...) I can't explain what I mean and I know I sound like I'm not making sense with my words, but what I'm trying to say is He knows you have a husband and Children, you will live, if it's His will of course.....try not to be so sad."

?????

Did this enlightenment just pour out of the incredible creature I was blessed to birth? Did my child really share with such Faith and wisdom at eleven the power of her God with me?.... In that moment I just bawled and little on held me in arm. What a gift and what a beautiful reminder for me to hang on, to trust, to know God is with me thru all of it. I thank Him for my amazing Precious Jules and this moment we shared by ourselves, just us two together. Parent and child as it is with this situation with me and God and my health...the two of us dealing with it together. My Parent/My God.


Matthew 18 GWT: 3 Then he said to them, "I can guarantee this truth: Unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. 4Whoever becomes like this little child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. 5And whoever welcomes a child like this in my name welcomes me. 6"These little ones believe in me.

Just Love while you here, while you're able....

People try to come up with a recipe for Love, so many books, so many songs,so many seminars, so many movies. At the end of the day the answer is centering Love with God. I have rode thru many storms the last 19 years with an amazing friend, one who like myself, found God at a time when we could have lost what Love really is. We are blessed to know Him together; to have raised our beautiful Jules in Him together, and to ride together. Ride or Die I always tell him...plan to do that until we can't any more. We try our best to send each other notes thru out the week, reminders of the Love God has blessed us with. I pray my words might one day be a glimpse to Him concerning what I feel for God blessing me with my Sweetheart (meeting your spouses needs when they are healthy is tough, takes a lot of work and that makes you wonderful...meeting your spouses needs when they have chronic illness...is tougher and that makes you a miracle from the Lord)....I love my miracle from God.

My Note To Hubby:

I am so truly thankful for you. I love you. Sometimes my mind is
full of a deep sadness and God uses you to remind me to remember His
love for me. I thank you for being my companion on life's journey. No
one on this earth in this life time has ever cared for me more than you
and I am so blessed to have experienced that before going home to the
Father. I am so thankful we rode thru storms together my love.

Love you always and several days more,
GPJ


I'd write His response back but he'd get me good for publishing his sweet words...they are meant for my eyes and God's eyes alone and that's okay with me. :)


Stay strong friends, God is generous and amazing. He is Rich with Love and desires to show us it each and everyday no matter what form.

-GPJ