It takes a wonderful kind of person to become a water rescuer. To be willing to endanger one’s own life to come and save a person that’s potentially drowning in a sea of water. That rescuer has a whole plan of salvation and is quite capable of executing it, but they need the other person’s cooperation. Sometimes in a panic in the struggle against the water current a person’s fears can interfere with the rescue plan. Often they end up pulling the person doing the saving under the water with them. In a panicked effort to stay in control they end up causing more harm than good. Despite knowing about the potential of the danger that lies ahead that rescuer still moves forward with their plan of rescue. They are willing to give up their very life in an attempt to save this person, a simple stranger.
It’s like that movie the Guardian. After watching it I had such a true appreciation for water rescuers. For all the ways that the United States Coast Guard work to save human life from drowning. It profoundly affected me on a spiritual level to be eternally grateful for the True water rescuer my Sweet Daddy King. He’s helping me grow and stretch farther than I've ever imagined before, and so I praise Him.
Whew! This has been a long two weeks. I've pinched my self several times, but nope...I'm not dreaming, LOL, so onward through Him I press. God has been teaching me so much. Especially about all the ways I need to grow in trusting Him fully. Now clearly we can’t pull God under water with us, but He has made tremendous sacrifice to save us and we owe it to Him to trust that he knows what He is doing. I’m thankful for how he has continued to patiently teach me over the last sixteen years that it will always be about relinquishing complete control. He doesn’t need my help; if I stay out of his way he’s got this. He’s not going to let me drown.
Lord help me this day to continue to trust in all you do. Help me to avoid trying to understand and just trust in your ultimate plan. To not give in to panic and look for away to get out of the water, but to stay calm and just wade in it, to take comfort in the fact that I can see you on the approach and know “troubles don’t last always” this will pass. You my King are good and perfect and I know there is no better rescuer to get me out of the raging waters; in fact you’ve already saved me from them, it’s all good. Psalm 144:7 (New International Version)Reach down your hand from on high; deliver me and rescue me from the mighty waters...
Monday, May 4, 2009
Friday, March 20, 2009
Not my Will but Thine...
Yikes, can’t believe I stopped blogging for four months. I can’t imagine if I tried to recap the last several months, so I really won’t bother. (That’d be crazy…I thought I shared too much when I was writing regularly, LOL.) Many things have changed, many plans have been reworked, many prayers have been answered, and many things are still up in the air. All and all Jesus my Lord has remained the same through it all. I am so thankful for the Father’s love.
A lot of the time, not always, but a lot of the time we live in a fantasy world where we think we just can’t be touched by certain things. “Oh no that could never happen to me,” “oh no not to my child,” “Nah, my family won’t have to worry about that” when in fact as long as we remain in these fragile shells we call bodies any and all things can and might very well happen to us. We are not immune just because we feel we should be. This past month I’ve been called really high; challenged to do some things I just thought would never have to be an option for me and thought it’s surreal it’s nothing compared to the joys of Heaven…so I wait on Him.
There have been a few sudden changes that have made me feel like someone has kicked me in the chest and knocked the wind out of me. However, like I always say, this world is not my home. So why act like it is? As much as the Devil desires to sift me like wheat thankfully the Father has been maintaining my joy. (Trust me it’s been a tall order with my yucky emotions constantly interfering.) I really don’t even like to imagine where my mind would be without the Father’s guardianship of it. So I am sitting tight, going with God’s flow, learning to rest in His arms through it all.
A lot of the time, not always, but a lot of the time we live in a fantasy world where we think we just can’t be touched by certain things. “Oh no that could never happen to me,” “oh no not to my child,” “Nah, my family won’t have to worry about that” when in fact as long as we remain in these fragile shells we call bodies any and all things can and might very well happen to us. We are not immune just because we feel we should be. This past month I’ve been called really high; challenged to do some things I just thought would never have to be an option for me and thought it’s surreal it’s nothing compared to the joys of Heaven…so I wait on Him.
There have been a few sudden changes that have made me feel like someone has kicked me in the chest and knocked the wind out of me. However, like I always say, this world is not my home. So why act like it is? As much as the Devil desires to sift me like wheat thankfully the Father has been maintaining my joy. (Trust me it’s been a tall order with my yucky emotions constantly interfering.) I really don’t even like to imagine where my mind would be without the Father’s guardianship of it. So I am sitting tight, going with God’s flow, learning to rest in His arms through it all.
Job 5:16-18
16 So the poor have hope, and injustice shuts its mouth.17 "Blessed is the man whom God corrects; so do not despise the discipline of the Almighty.18 For He wounds, but He also binds up; He injures, but His hands also heal.
16 So the poor have hope, and injustice shuts its mouth.17 "Blessed is the man whom God corrects; so do not despise the discipline of the Almighty.18 For He wounds, but He also binds up; He injures, but His hands also heal.
Saturday, November 29, 2008
My True Thanks Giving
Ever feel your attempts at communicating the emotions that accompany the exhaustion in your heart are just plain feeble? Sometimes it's just beyond your words to express the isolation that your individual experiences can lead you to on those coarser days. There's a sadness that begins to settle when you realize the weather patterns not changing, so you better put on your raincoat and raise your umbrella because this will be a long storm.
I've known those feeling and I've always thanked the Father for teaching me that those feelings are a misconception. They are like illusions. Lies of the heart that the Devil uses to separate us from the Father's loving hand. They cannot and will not reflect the certainty of Joy that comes from resting in the Father's love. Romans 8:26 "In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express."
Now that's not to say we aren't surrounded by flesh. So for the most part many of us (maybe not all, but for most of us) we'll need to discard the lies of the flesh so that we can press on. Those feelings will come, but the challenge for those of us who believe is to release them and instead cling to what is real & lasting. Philippians 3:3 "For it is we who are the circumcision, we who worship by the Spirit of God, who glory in Christ Jesus, and who put no confidence in the flesh."
I am always so profoundly impressed when the Father equips me to stand in His love. Job 36:15 "But those who suffer He delivers in their suffering; He speaks to them in their affliction." What a remarkable strength that clearly surpasses my own. A renewal that can only come from a parent's affirming love. No matter what type of up bringing we 've had, no matter who we looked at for parental guidance we were always strongest when we received reassuring love. A great example of that is in Luke 15:20 (The example of the Prodigal Son) "So he got up and went to his father.... But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him." What loving mercy.
My Faith deepens each and every time the Lord chooses to personally come down and rescue me, even when it's from myself at times. Isaiah 66:11-16. What protection, what generosity like no other. Don't you just love it when you know sometimes all the aspects of your day were specifically designed to refresh you?... to get you to hold on. To protect your grip from slipping. He doesn't have to do that. He doesn't have to repeatedly demonstrate His love (I mean come one he gave us Jesus already) but he does. Sometimes it's in a babies smile, or your children's laughter, or the Churches' voice singing, or in the pages of the bible, or revealed in answered prayer. Perhaps it's in a hug without words, or a listening ear, or a loved ones forgiveness, or your forgiveness to that loved one. All of it, big and small, a design of love from God. I thank you Father this day. I truly do.
See He doesn't accuse; He doesn't grow impatient; He just reaches down and takes hold of us. Now if that's not giving I don't know what is. That my friends is exactly why I had a wonderful Thanks Giving Holiday.
Love you Daddy!
Philippians 3 (continued...) vs.7 But whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. 8What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ 9and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ—the righteousness that comes from God and is by faith. 10I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, 11and so, somehow, to attain to the resurrection from the dead.
I've known those feeling and I've always thanked the Father for teaching me that those feelings are a misconception. They are like illusions. Lies of the heart that the Devil uses to separate us from the Father's loving hand. They cannot and will not reflect the certainty of Joy that comes from resting in the Father's love. Romans 8:26 "In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express."
Now that's not to say we aren't surrounded by flesh. So for the most part many of us (maybe not all, but for most of us) we'll need to discard the lies of the flesh so that we can press on. Those feelings will come, but the challenge for those of us who believe is to release them and instead cling to what is real & lasting. Philippians 3:3 "For it is we who are the circumcision, we who worship by the Spirit of God, who glory in Christ Jesus, and who put no confidence in the flesh."
I am always so profoundly impressed when the Father equips me to stand in His love. Job 36:15 "But those who suffer He delivers in their suffering; He speaks to them in their affliction." What a remarkable strength that clearly surpasses my own. A renewal that can only come from a parent's affirming love. No matter what type of up bringing we 've had, no matter who we looked at for parental guidance we were always strongest when we received reassuring love. A great example of that is in Luke 15:20 (The example of the Prodigal Son) "So he got up and went to his father.... But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him." What loving mercy.
My Faith deepens each and every time the Lord chooses to personally come down and rescue me, even when it's from myself at times. Isaiah 66:11-16. What protection, what generosity like no other. Don't you just love it when you know sometimes all the aspects of your day were specifically designed to refresh you?... to get you to hold on. To protect your grip from slipping. He doesn't have to do that. He doesn't have to repeatedly demonstrate His love (I mean come one he gave us Jesus already) but he does. Sometimes it's in a babies smile, or your children's laughter, or the Churches' voice singing, or in the pages of the bible, or revealed in answered prayer. Perhaps it's in a hug without words, or a listening ear, or a loved ones forgiveness, or your forgiveness to that loved one. All of it, big and small, a design of love from God. I thank you Father this day. I truly do.
See He doesn't accuse; He doesn't grow impatient; He just reaches down and takes hold of us. Now if that's not giving I don't know what is. That my friends is exactly why I had a wonderful Thanks Giving Holiday.
Love you Daddy!
Philippians 3 (continued...) vs.7 But whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. 8What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ 9and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ—the righteousness that comes from God and is by faith. 10I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, 11and so, somehow, to attain to the resurrection from the dead.
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Until the end...
What a privilege it is to hear about the journey other's take in life. Thanks to another blogger, who I visited with multiple times this past two days! (through written word), I was inspired to journal a little today. (Thank you to that special someone for sharing your life with all of us).
How blessed are we, God's creation that is. In an often lonely, overwhelming, frustrating, heavy laden world the Father reaches down his sweet hands to comfort us... And individually for that matter. Wow! What a great effort. Imagine knowing how to perfectly manage each and every one of your relationships with a perfect love that shows no error. The mere thought makes my already fried brain ache, LOL. But Daddy God does indeed do it perfectly. What love, what constant care. Thank you Father Daddy.
Today I read a scripture that I love...1 Chronicles 29:10-13..."Praise be to you, O Lord God of our father Israel, from everlasting to everlasting. Yours, O Lord, is the greatness and the power and the glory and the majesty and the splendor, for everything in heaven and earth is yours. ...In your hands are strength and power to exalt and give power to all. Now, our God we give you thanks, and praise your glorious name."
To that I say Amen!
Now in that scripture David was sharing, through prayer, all that he can express and all that he is through God's loving hand, but this sentiment reminded me to reflect on Paul. Early on after his conversion Paul came to the realization that life will be full of affliction. He was lead by the Spirit to know this to be the case for him in particular. However, like David, Paul must have had a good understanding of the rewards of God's love. Paul must have trusted God's love for Him and in how it would carry him through. He refused to let anything in this life stop Him from serving the Father. Acts20:24 "I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me-the task of testifying to the gospel of God's grace.
That is such an awesome example. They both were (Paul and David) when it comes to intimacy with God. I pray I can continually be trained by all I am experiencing here. I pray that God will give me the strength and the passion to constantly step to the side so I can work to share his truths with others. I pray that I might edify and love others...that I may minister to my family and sing his Glorious praises. I pray I hold out and hold on. I had a wonderful prayer today with a Sister who often feels isolated because of the pain she endures. We both experienced God's loving hand by the end of that prayer. We both were able to walk away feeling strengthened and recognizing no matter what we want to fight until the end. I want to be on God's side when the war is over. We might get knocked down a few times during the battle but in the end if we stand firm, if we never forfeit the objective, it will be well worth it.
How blessed are we, God's creation that is. In an often lonely, overwhelming, frustrating, heavy laden world the Father reaches down his sweet hands to comfort us... And individually for that matter. Wow! What a great effort. Imagine knowing how to perfectly manage each and every one of your relationships with a perfect love that shows no error. The mere thought makes my already fried brain ache, LOL. But Daddy God does indeed do it perfectly. What love, what constant care. Thank you Father Daddy.
Today I read a scripture that I love...1 Chronicles 29:10-13..."Praise be to you, O Lord God of our father Israel, from everlasting to everlasting. Yours, O Lord, is the greatness and the power and the glory and the majesty and the splendor, for everything in heaven and earth is yours. ...In your hands are strength and power to exalt and give power to all. Now, our God we give you thanks, and praise your glorious name."
To that I say Amen!
Now in that scripture David was sharing, through prayer, all that he can express and all that he is through God's loving hand, but this sentiment reminded me to reflect on Paul. Early on after his conversion Paul came to the realization that life will be full of affliction. He was lead by the Spirit to know this to be the case for him in particular. However, like David, Paul must have had a good understanding of the rewards of God's love. Paul must have trusted God's love for Him and in how it would carry him through. He refused to let anything in this life stop Him from serving the Father. Acts20:24 "I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me-the task of testifying to the gospel of God's grace.
That is such an awesome example. They both were (Paul and David) when it comes to intimacy with God. I pray I can continually be trained by all I am experiencing here. I pray that God will give me the strength and the passion to constantly step to the side so I can work to share his truths with others. I pray that I might edify and love others...that I may minister to my family and sing his Glorious praises. I pray I hold out and hold on. I had a wonderful prayer today with a Sister who often feels isolated because of the pain she endures. We both experienced God's loving hand by the end of that prayer. We both were able to walk away feeling strengthened and recognizing no matter what we want to fight until the end. I want to be on God's side when the war is over. We might get knocked down a few times during the battle but in the end if we stand firm, if we never forfeit the objective, it will be well worth it.
Monday, October 20, 2008
One minute this, the next minute that...thankful to those who stay the same in between it all
What an astounding month it has been, blessed with wonderful family and friends to spur me a long. I spent lots of time and fellowship in the name of “Birthday” this month and it was not only humbling, but also reassuring of Gods love…. I went out multiple times this month with hubby, the kids, and several of my closest girlfriends. Oh, the carefree laughs we had, it was truly Spirit lifting. Sickness often leaves you feeling isolated but I can not capitulate such heart lead emotion knowing I am so richly loved. I praise the Father for all of them.
Let me take this time to leave here an update about my thoughts on the surgery. During one of those blessed outings with one of my girlfriends I went to see a fairly good movie. I could have passed on some of the direction of the movie, but the emphasis on appreciating real love (one that you hold out for) was wonderfully executed… I think I will read the book even though I prefer to do that in the reverse order. Any who, I digress, one of the very small side dialogues that transpired in the movie between the main character and one of his patient’s spouses made me realize where I stand right now.
I am not as acceptant to the idea of surgery as I had thought I was becoming. This wasn’t some revelation at the movie theater. I had been wavering on it for weeks since not too many surgeons are listed as preforming it as of yet. I asked God to make it clear what I should do for the duration. I believe He did that for me through not only this movie, but more importantly from the encouragement and advice of several love ones. Hubby, my amazing rock, was in support of either decision so to that end, I’m not too disappointed. To be frank I was more enthused about the break through of new options for this chronic condition then the timeframe it could be preformed. We’ll see in the future if the Lord will lead me back to this.
In the meantime, the good news (well not good, but informative) is that the neck MRI, showed something. Two bulging disk, some curvature issues, blah, blah, blah, etc, etc. (I stopped listening for a while.) It was like she became one of Charlie Brown's teachers talking. I didn't care about all the words; it was just nice someone affirmed that there was a problem. It was not the cause of my migraines as I had hope she would conclude, but at least I now know I need to be more careful with the neck. Apparently it is not uncommon for migraine sufferers to spasm in that area due to all the extra swelling that goes on. Similar to my back issues, the key will be better maintenance as to prevent further injury. To help that a long I was given a script to start physical therapy A.S.A.P. (my sweet doctor thinking I live in a perfect world, ha!ha!ha! I’ll still need to work out the kinks of “stay at home Mom/hubby works in Manhattan” to see how that will get done.) Nevertheless, I’m not going to stress over it.
We waste so much time on the unimportant things. Not that we shouldn’t make every effort to get ourselves healthy but I meant more so the customary things. I don't want the tedious things to be what drives me. Too many of us find ourselves concentrating all our energies maneuvering life in these shells we call our bodies and then getting frustrated when they fail or betray us. All of that serves as a growing reminder that these bodies won’t be our eternal dwellings. (Thank God for that, I’m spent.) I am anticipating something greater.
God has made promises to us based on a better existence. When he brings me to Heaven He’ll take care of all the rest. I look forward to that (when ever that turns out to be). I don't mean to sound morbit but I often pray to the Father, "Lord I'm ready," but another good girlfriend this "birthday month" gave me a beautiful card in somewhat oposition of that. I won't share what was in it, however I will say this, she encouraged me to celebrate while I'm still here. To continue to cherish the time I have sharing God's word and spending time with the loved ones He has provided for me. Not only is that just what I plan on doing, but she and a couple of other folks I love dearly block my prayers anyway, hee!hee!(... not the prayers when I long for Jesus return, we all want that, just the part about me trying to leave here quicker. I haven't created too many fans with that line of praying no matter how hard I try, smile.)
In all seriousness, the Father's really been helping me to welcome the ups and downs that come in my life, to stop focusing on the disadvantages my health gives us, and concentrate on the good times I share with loved ones. Let me now also thank you Lord for this special "birthday" month, for my life, for keeping me here to celebrate.... Those heart lead prayers when I try to get Him to take me sooner are actually selfish. I don't say it out loud often enough but I love my hubby, my girls, my family, and my sweet girlfriends. That might not take all the pains away but it sure taste like sweet medicine in the meantime.
Proverbs 17:22 A cheerful heart is good medicine but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.
Thank you to all my sweet team members, for loving me, for believing in me, for honoring me, and for standing with me through it all! You guys rock!
Let me take this time to leave here an update about my thoughts on the surgery. During one of those blessed outings with one of my girlfriends I went to see a fairly good movie. I could have passed on some of the direction of the movie, but the emphasis on appreciating real love (one that you hold out for) was wonderfully executed… I think I will read the book even though I prefer to do that in the reverse order. Any who, I digress, one of the very small side dialogues that transpired in the movie between the main character and one of his patient’s spouses made me realize where I stand right now.
I am not as acceptant to the idea of surgery as I had thought I was becoming. This wasn’t some revelation at the movie theater. I had been wavering on it for weeks since not too many surgeons are listed as preforming it as of yet. I asked God to make it clear what I should do for the duration. I believe He did that for me through not only this movie, but more importantly from the encouragement and advice of several love ones. Hubby, my amazing rock, was in support of either decision so to that end, I’m not too disappointed. To be frank I was more enthused about the break through of new options for this chronic condition then the timeframe it could be preformed. We’ll see in the future if the Lord will lead me back to this.
In the meantime, the good news (well not good, but informative) is that the neck MRI, showed something. Two bulging disk, some curvature issues, blah, blah, blah, etc, etc. (I stopped listening for a while.) It was like she became one of Charlie Brown's teachers talking. I didn't care about all the words; it was just nice someone affirmed that there was a problem. It was not the cause of my migraines as I had hope she would conclude, but at least I now know I need to be more careful with the neck. Apparently it is not uncommon for migraine sufferers to spasm in that area due to all the extra swelling that goes on. Similar to my back issues, the key will be better maintenance as to prevent further injury. To help that a long I was given a script to start physical therapy A.S.A.P. (my sweet doctor thinking I live in a perfect world, ha!ha!ha! I’ll still need to work out the kinks of “stay at home Mom/hubby works in Manhattan” to see how that will get done.) Nevertheless, I’m not going to stress over it.
We waste so much time on the unimportant things. Not that we shouldn’t make every effort to get ourselves healthy but I meant more so the customary things. I don't want the tedious things to be what drives me. Too many of us find ourselves concentrating all our energies maneuvering life in these shells we call our bodies and then getting frustrated when they fail or betray us. All of that serves as a growing reminder that these bodies won’t be our eternal dwellings. (Thank God for that, I’m spent.) I am anticipating something greater.
God has made promises to us based on a better existence. When he brings me to Heaven He’ll take care of all the rest. I look forward to that (when ever that turns out to be). I don't mean to sound morbit but I often pray to the Father, "Lord I'm ready," but another good girlfriend this "birthday month" gave me a beautiful card in somewhat oposition of that. I won't share what was in it, however I will say this, she encouraged me to celebrate while I'm still here. To continue to cherish the time I have sharing God's word and spending time with the loved ones He has provided for me. Not only is that just what I plan on doing, but she and a couple of other folks I love dearly block my prayers anyway, hee!hee!(... not the prayers when I long for Jesus return, we all want that, just the part about me trying to leave here quicker. I haven't created too many fans with that line of praying no matter how hard I try, smile.)
In all seriousness, the Father's really been helping me to welcome the ups and downs that come in my life, to stop focusing on the disadvantages my health gives us, and concentrate on the good times I share with loved ones. Let me now also thank you Lord for this special "birthday" month, for my life, for keeping me here to celebrate.... Those heart lead prayers when I try to get Him to take me sooner are actually selfish. I don't say it out loud often enough but I love my hubby, my girls, my family, and my sweet girlfriends. That might not take all the pains away but it sure taste like sweet medicine in the meantime.
Proverbs 17:22 A cheerful heart is good medicine but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.
Thank you to all my sweet team members, for loving me, for believing in me, for honoring me, and for standing with me through it all! You guys rock!
Friday, September 26, 2008
The Road to Possibilities, Often Narrow but Worthy!
Wow.
It’s been so long. Before I get into the new things I'm exploring concering my health; can I just side track for a moment and mention HS. I am so excited about this school year. What a wonderful time I’m having with my girls. We have gone ahead and introduced a new teaching aid to our daily activities, but for the most part I am still handling the majority of instruction myself. It seems much calmer for us this year. Calm and easy are two different words. There are still many steps a long the way, but I am feeling a lot more confidant in my decision to continue home education despite my health problems. I have a wonderful support system and I've recieved so much good advice about how to serve them unconventionally when the world teaches you to think success is found by conventional methods alone. We’ll see how things are in a month or two, when we start pulling out our hair. (smile.)
Jokes aside, I am really journaling today about hope. It’s something no one else can ever take from you as long as it’s based on God’s promises. I am so excited because I am researching a new procedure for migraine sufferers. It might involve multiple surgeries but any one who knows me knows the fact that I am even willing to consider this means a new day has come. I have to say 8 years is a long time to go without many options outside of medications and dark rooms. So this seems promising. I’ve been in deep prayer about it and I really feel God is making clear what active roll I need to play in finding out if I’m a candidate. There are a couple of down sides to this, the Hospital is in another state, there is clearly a waiting list as there are only a handful of Doctors performing this procedure at this time, and not to mention it might not be covered through insurance but I have to try. I also have to allow God to give me the strength to be a part of the process when there are so many other things going on. This could take weeks, months, or even years to work out but I trust Daddy God in the decisions he makes for my life so I’ll wait.
First step is asking my Neuro if she has any knowledge of this new technique and respecting all her answers in regard to it. Sometimes like a child with candy you don’t want anyone taking your options away, but she has been a huge support to my healing. I am going to hold on to that when she speaks. I have a follow up with her for a neck MRI so we’ll see what she says. Ironically the procedure involves the neck and she and I are exploring the neck at the moment anyway so I’m excited. Good or bad, my joy is not in this world and my hope remains in Him.
Psalm 13:4-6 my enemy will say, "I have overcome him,” and my foes will rejoice when I fall. But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation. I will sing to the LORD, for he has been good to me.
It’s been so long. Before I get into the new things I'm exploring concering my health; can I just side track for a moment and mention HS. I am so excited about this school year. What a wonderful time I’m having with my girls. We have gone ahead and introduced a new teaching aid to our daily activities, but for the most part I am still handling the majority of instruction myself. It seems much calmer for us this year. Calm and easy are two different words. There are still many steps a long the way, but I am feeling a lot more confidant in my decision to continue home education despite my health problems. I have a wonderful support system and I've recieved so much good advice about how to serve them unconventionally when the world teaches you to think success is found by conventional methods alone. We’ll see how things are in a month or two, when we start pulling out our hair. (smile.)
Jokes aside, I am really journaling today about hope. It’s something no one else can ever take from you as long as it’s based on God’s promises. I am so excited because I am researching a new procedure for migraine sufferers. It might involve multiple surgeries but any one who knows me knows the fact that I am even willing to consider this means a new day has come. I have to say 8 years is a long time to go without many options outside of medications and dark rooms. So this seems promising. I’ve been in deep prayer about it and I really feel God is making clear what active roll I need to play in finding out if I’m a candidate. There are a couple of down sides to this, the Hospital is in another state, there is clearly a waiting list as there are only a handful of Doctors performing this procedure at this time, and not to mention it might not be covered through insurance but I have to try. I also have to allow God to give me the strength to be a part of the process when there are so many other things going on. This could take weeks, months, or even years to work out but I trust Daddy God in the decisions he makes for my life so I’ll wait.
First step is asking my Neuro if she has any knowledge of this new technique and respecting all her answers in regard to it. Sometimes like a child with candy you don’t want anyone taking your options away, but she has been a huge support to my healing. I am going to hold on to that when she speaks. I have a follow up with her for a neck MRI so we’ll see what she says. Ironically the procedure involves the neck and she and I are exploring the neck at the moment anyway so I’m excited. Good or bad, my joy is not in this world and my hope remains in Him.
Psalm 13:4-6 my enemy will say, "I have overcome him,” and my foes will rejoice when I fall. But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation. I will sing to the LORD, for he has been good to me.
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Tah Tah for Now!
The past couple of weeks have been difficult. I’ve been in a lot of pain and because of that I’ve been feeling mostly funky, but thankfully we don’t get to Heaven because of our feelings. Christ set a loving example for us concerning Endurance. This is what we use despite how we're feeling to help us run the race to obtain the Spiritual goal of Heaven.
There is so much behind the word Endurance. My quite time this morning was a good opportunity to reflect on how much power lies in that word. I found some excellent definitions on Accurate and Reliable Dictionary’s website as I studied Romans 15 and Colossians 1…
Here are a few of those definitions:
- The act of bearing or suffering; a continuing under pain or distress without resistance, (That’s so important/ letting go and letting God.) without being overcome; sufferance; patience. (...another key component to genuine endurance.)
- The power to withstand hardship or stress; ex:"the marathon tests a runner’s endurance" (“Testing” that is something that as long as we lie in the flesh we will constantly undergo. We must be refined.)
- A state of surviving, remaining alive (…Oh they're “Preaching to the choir" as the say, concerning this one; some days that is truly all I am trying to do all I can do…through God of course.)
I want to pull out some buzz words and phrases from the listing above: CONTINUING, WITHOUT RESISTANCE, WITHOUT BEING OVERCOME, POWER TO WITHSTAND, SURVIVING, REMAINING ALIVE.
Endurance requires a fuel source for these things to happen. If that fuel source becomes depleted we must look to replace it or else will never finish the race. From a physical stand point, the free Encyclopedia, Wikipedia states various ways we become depleted, "The need for sleep, the buildup of non-recyclable waste chemicals, the depletion of convertible energy stores and other needed chemicals (e.g., water, sodium), physical injury, psychological failure, or attainment of the goal will bring the effort to an end." Therefore we need to rely on God, who provides an over abundant source of energy for us to utilize as we strive to attain the goal. We allow Him to accomplish victory in us when our endurance leads to Hope. Endurance is nothing without Hope. In fact the Father through his marvelous word often pairs the two together. Romans 15:4 For everything that was written in the past was written to teach us, so that through endurance and the encouragement of the scriptures we might have Hope. Romans15: 13 May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace, as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.
So my hope is this, as long as breath flows through my body, I pray I will continue on this journey. I have two desires as I reach for that attainment. Both that require constant refueling. One: that I may always live for my Daddy God and two: that I will never allow the physical blockers to prematurely end my race. Instead, I pray I stop only at the attainment of the goal, my Sweet Home with God in Heaven. As a side note: Home School will be starting soon. I am excited about the New Year but I am sure that means I will rarely be on here. Nonetheless, I am going to hold myself to the commitment to write (whether it’s through blogging or just at home on paper, I will make time for this). In the meanwhile, if it takes some time to hear from me again, please know it has been an enjoyable experience sharing my internal dialogue with others. Romans 15:5-6 May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you a spirit of unity among yourselves as you follow Christ Jesus, so that with one heart and mouth you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. God bless!
Pressing forward through Him,
T.J.
There is so much behind the word Endurance. My quite time this morning was a good opportunity to reflect on how much power lies in that word. I found some excellent definitions on Accurate and Reliable Dictionary’s website as I studied Romans 15 and Colossians 1…
Here are a few of those definitions:
- The act of bearing or suffering; a continuing under pain or distress without resistance, (That’s so important/ letting go and letting God.) without being overcome; sufferance; patience. (...another key component to genuine endurance.)
- The power to withstand hardship or stress; ex:"the marathon tests a runner’s endurance" (“Testing” that is something that as long as we lie in the flesh we will constantly undergo. We must be refined.)
- A state of surviving, remaining alive (…Oh they're “Preaching to the choir" as the say, concerning this one; some days that is truly all I am trying to do all I can do…through God of course.)
I want to pull out some buzz words and phrases from the listing above: CONTINUING, WITHOUT RESISTANCE, WITHOUT BEING OVERCOME, POWER TO WITHSTAND, SURVIVING, REMAINING ALIVE.
Endurance requires a fuel source for these things to happen. If that fuel source becomes depleted we must look to replace it or else will never finish the race. From a physical stand point, the free Encyclopedia, Wikipedia states various ways we become depleted, "The need for sleep, the buildup of non-recyclable waste chemicals, the depletion of convertible energy stores and other needed chemicals (e.g., water, sodium), physical injury, psychological failure, or attainment of the goal will bring the effort to an end." Therefore we need to rely on God, who provides an over abundant source of energy for us to utilize as we strive to attain the goal. We allow Him to accomplish victory in us when our endurance leads to Hope. Endurance is nothing without Hope. In fact the Father through his marvelous word often pairs the two together. Romans 15:4 For everything that was written in the past was written to teach us, so that through endurance and the encouragement of the scriptures we might have Hope. Romans15: 13 May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace, as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.
So my hope is this, as long as breath flows through my body, I pray I will continue on this journey. I have two desires as I reach for that attainment. Both that require constant refueling. One: that I may always live for my Daddy God and two: that I will never allow the physical blockers to prematurely end my race. Instead, I pray I stop only at the attainment of the goal, my Sweet Home with God in Heaven. As a side note: Home School will be starting soon. I am excited about the New Year but I am sure that means I will rarely be on here. Nonetheless, I am going to hold myself to the commitment to write (whether it’s through blogging or just at home on paper, I will make time for this). In the meanwhile, if it takes some time to hear from me again, please know it has been an enjoyable experience sharing my internal dialogue with others. Romans 15:5-6 May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you a spirit of unity among yourselves as you follow Christ Jesus, so that with one heart and mouth you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. God bless!
Pressing forward through Him,
T.J.
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