What an astounding month it has been, blessed with wonderful family and friends to spur me a long. I spent lots of time and fellowship in the name of “Birthday” this month and it was not only humbling, but also reassuring of Gods love…. I went out multiple times this month with hubby, the kids, and several of my closest girlfriends. Oh, the carefree laughs we had, it was truly Spirit lifting. Sickness often leaves you feeling isolated but I can not capitulate such heart lead emotion knowing I am so richly loved. I praise the Father for all of them.
Let me take this time to leave here an update about my thoughts on the surgery. During one of those blessed outings with one of my girlfriends I went to see a fairly good movie. I could have passed on some of the direction of the movie, but the emphasis on appreciating real love (one that you hold out for) was wonderfully executed… I think I will read the book even though I prefer to do that in the reverse order. Any who, I digress, one of the very small side dialogues that transpired in the movie between the main character and one of his patient’s spouses made me realize where I stand right now.
I am not as acceptant to the idea of surgery as I had thought I was becoming. This wasn’t some revelation at the movie theater. I had been wavering on it for weeks since not too many surgeons are listed as preforming it as of yet. I asked God to make it clear what I should do for the duration. I believe He did that for me through not only this movie, but more importantly from the encouragement and advice of several love ones. Hubby, my amazing rock, was in support of either decision so to that end, I’m not too disappointed. To be frank I was more enthused about the break through of new options for this chronic condition then the timeframe it could be preformed. We’ll see in the future if the Lord will lead me back to this.
In the meantime, the good news (well not good, but informative) is that the neck MRI, showed something. Two bulging disk, some curvature issues, blah, blah, blah, etc, etc. (I stopped listening for a while.) It was like she became one of Charlie Brown's teachers talking. I didn't care about all the words; it was just nice someone affirmed that there was a problem. It was not the cause of my migraines as I had hope she would conclude, but at least I now know I need to be more careful with the neck. Apparently it is not uncommon for migraine sufferers to spasm in that area due to all the extra swelling that goes on. Similar to my back issues, the key will be better maintenance as to prevent further injury. To help that a long I was given a script to start physical therapy A.S.A.P. (my sweet doctor thinking I live in a perfect world, ha!ha!ha! I’ll still need to work out the kinks of “stay at home Mom/hubby works in Manhattan” to see how that will get done.) Nevertheless, I’m not going to stress over it.
We waste so much time on the unimportant things. Not that we shouldn’t make every effort to get ourselves healthy but I meant more so the customary things. I don't want the tedious things to be what drives me. Too many of us find ourselves concentrating all our energies maneuvering life in these shells we call our bodies and then getting frustrated when they fail or betray us. All of that serves as a growing reminder that these bodies won’t be our eternal dwellings. (Thank God for that, I’m spent.) I am anticipating something greater.
God has made promises to us based on a better existence. When he brings me to Heaven He’ll take care of all the rest. I look forward to that (when ever that turns out to be). I don't mean to sound morbit but I often pray to the Father, "Lord I'm ready," but another good girlfriend this "birthday month" gave me a beautiful card in somewhat oposition of that. I won't share what was in it, however I will say this, she encouraged me to celebrate while I'm still here. To continue to cherish the time I have sharing God's word and spending time with the loved ones He has provided for me. Not only is that just what I plan on doing, but she and a couple of other folks I love dearly block my prayers anyway, hee!hee!(... not the prayers when I long for Jesus return, we all want that, just the part about me trying to leave here quicker. I haven't created too many fans with that line of praying no matter how hard I try, smile.)
In all seriousness, the Father's really been helping me to welcome the ups and downs that come in my life, to stop focusing on the disadvantages my health gives us, and concentrate on the good times I share with loved ones. Let me now also thank you Lord for this special "birthday" month, for my life, for keeping me here to celebrate.... Those heart lead prayers when I try to get Him to take me sooner are actually selfish. I don't say it out loud often enough but I love my hubby, my girls, my family, and my sweet girlfriends. That might not take all the pains away but it sure taste like sweet medicine in the meantime.
Proverbs 17:22 A cheerful heart is good medicine but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.
Thank you to all my sweet team members, for loving me, for believing in me, for honoring me, and for standing with me through it all! You guys rock!
