Praising the Father for bringing us thus Far...In the words of my daughter, "He never left us Mommy."

If only my minuscule words could justly share the experiences of the last several months, I’d be able to share the largest LOVE and Faith journey that has ever graced my life. However, words fall short when it comes to expressing these things with the precise accuracy of what has been shown to me. So for now I will grasp at inadequate detailing and simplistic linguistics to attempt to share the humble growth period God has allowed for my family. Several months ago I shared that my family was hit with a devastating blow when shortly after learning of some major issues going on inside my back and neck my daughter was dealing with her own issues in the curvature of her spine. She was in need of interventional surgery due to severe, advancing scoliosis and we were shocked. It progressed so rapidly, yet somehow I still felt like I was responsible for it happening. Unrealistic mother thoughts of how I am to somehow save her from everything including from any corrosion of her own DNA. We were in shock, afraid, and saddened by the news. As we investigated and explored all of our options our biggest concern as parents was wondering if we would we be making the right choice for her. She was a real person and this was happening to her body, yet we were the ones deciding upon something that would indeed affect the rest of her life. That in of itself was a hard pill to swallow. We moved forward and set up the surgery at the end of the summer per her request. She wanted to be able to enjoy the warm summer breezes and fun family nights with her friends and family. We gladly catered to the idea of waiting. She enjoyed a beautiful blessed budget stretched adventure at Disney, had multiple play dates with friends, and visited relatives to occupy her own little nervous mind. In all of the chaos her biggest concern seemed to be would she still be able to participate in the churches annual VBS week and so we made sure to get the date pushed after that. I was so proud of her for finding that as a valuable family event that she wanted to continue in despite knowing this huge trial awaited her ahead. Though it never really left our minds as parents the rule she made was that we were not to have tears or discussions about it until the summer’s completion. That in itself was a hard task as she is only 13 and would often wake up in the morning with her own multiple anxieties over things in the weeks leading up to it. So we ended up amending the rule and agreed talking about it would be her call and we would always use the opportunity to read the bible or pray for God’s comfort. She is a very quiet child when it comes to expressing her feelings and so we wanted to look for ways to promote her sharing since we knew it must’ve been a lot to process. With that said when it comes to her candidness she is her Father’s child. She had no problem directly asking questions flat out like, “Mommy, Daddy, will I wake up from the anesthesia…. And is there a possibility I might die?” it was a very difficult things for us to hear as parents. The craziest thing was she would temper the dialogue with very matter of fact speech that thought those things made her nervous she knew God loved her so no matter if she lived or died she knew He was with her…..like I said though a great way to endure things it was just all too much for her momma to hear her saying out loud. Especially because I just wanted so badly to have the ability to reach in and just straighten her spine myself. But that was the point, it wasn’t my job and the God of heaven who commands the power and authority to do just that not only loved her more than my heart could fathom, but needed me to be at my weakest that she might draw on His strength and not the strength of her parents. Two weeks ago this past Friday my daughter underwent the surgery. When I tell you nothing prepares you to emotionally accept this kind of pain staking truth outside of God’s Holy truth, I am not understating. I am also extremely thankful for the loving support system God carved out for our daughter and us. We just couldn’t have made it thru without His love working thru people. The first few days were the most difficult in this early stage of recovery and though watching your child suffer is no easy task we truly felt God’s arms around us as we strived to comfort her. Perspective is not allowing oneself to concentrate on simple unimportant matters in life but rather to humbly thank God for what simply matters. Watching her taker her first painful steps might have been difficult as we know it was the deepest pain she has ever known, but it created a tremendous joy in our hearts to reach down deep and continue in hope. Often in the hospital and even now at home she and I just kept repeating to ourselves, “I can do all things thru Christ who strengthens me.” Philippians 4;13. We prayed and prayed that each day would bring more comfort and so far it definitely has. She still has soooooooooo much healing and recovery a head, but we know God’s love and we are honored that He would bring us this far. So we know He won’t leave us….But by means of their suffering, He rescues those who suffer. For He gets their attention through adversity. “God is leading you away from danger, Job, to a place free from distress. He is setting your table with the best food. -Job 36:15-16 NLT...I inserted my name where Job's is found. We all have obstacles on this journey of life and sometimes they fill like direct attacks or isolated thunder storms over our individual heads...BUT perhaps that latest setback is actually being used to propel you forward. This Life's temporary. God empowers us today for something Greater!!

Repost...

This is an older post from '08 that really speaks volumes to my families current situation and my thinking on the matter. Hope to log in soon to share reflections of the last four months of our journey. Until then as always friends, Keep your head up because that is the direction of the Son-shine... My True Thanks Giving: Ever feel your attempts at communicating the emotions that accompany the exhaustion in your heart are just plain feeble? Sometimes it's just beyond your words to express the isolation that your individual experiences can lead you to on those coarser days. There's a sadness that begins to settle when you realize the weather patterns not changing, so you better put on your raincoat and raise your umbrella because this will be a long storm. I've known those feeling and I've always thanked the Father for teaching me that those feelings are a misconception. They are like illusions. Lies of the heart that the Devil uses to separate us from the Father's loving hand. They cannot and will not reflect the certainty of Joy that comes from resting in the Father's love. Romans 8:26 "In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express." Now that's not to say we aren't surrounded by flesh. So for the most part many of us (maybe not all, but for most of us) we'll need to discard the lies of the flesh so that we can press on. Those feelings will come, but the challenge for those of us who believe is to release them and instead cling to what is real & lasting. Philippians 3:3 "For it is we who are the circumcision, we who worship by the Spirit of God, who glory in Christ Jesus, and who put no confidence in the flesh." I am always so profoundly impressed when the Father equips me to stand in His love. Job 36:15 "But those who suffer He delivers in their suffering; He speaks to them in their affliction." What a remarkable strength that clearly surpasses my own. A renewal that can only come from a parent's affirming love. No matter what type of up bringing we 've had, no matter who we looked at for parental guidance we were always strongest when we received reassuring love. A great example of that is in Luke 15:20 (The example of the Prodigal Son) "So he got up and went to his father.... But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him." What loving mercy. My Faith deepens each and every time the Lord chooses to personally come down and rescue me, even when it's from myself at times. Isaiah 66:11-16. What protection, what generosity like no other. Don't you just love it when you know sometimes all the aspects of your day were specifically designed to refresh you?... to get you to hold on. To protect your grip from slipping. He doesn't have to do that. He doesn't have to repeatedly demonstrate His love (I mean come one he gave us Jesus already) but he does. Sometimes it's in a babies smile, or your children's laughter, or the Churches' voice singing, or in the pages of the bible, or revealed in answered prayer. Perhaps it's in a hug without words, or a listening ear, or a loved ones forgiveness, or your forgiveness to that loved one. All of it, big and small, a design of love from God. I thank you Father this day. I truly do. See He doesn't accuse; He doesn't grow impatient; He just reaches down and takes hold of us. Now if that's not giving I don't know what is. That my friends is exactly why I had a wonderful Thanks Giving Holiday. Love you Daddy! Philippians 3 (continued...) vs.7 But whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. 8What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ 9and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ—the righteousness that comes from God and is by faith. 10I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, 11and so, somehow, to attain to the resurrection from the dead.