I AM Here

Today I felt attacked on every side. The day was made long by multiple moments of nonsense and incredible frustration with junk. I had to spend the entire day on phone calls & multiple hours driving up and down to take care of some things that needed sorting, feeling unheard along the way....I stopped myself at least 6 times from breaking down while driving around with a torturous migraine because my children were present. Not to mention that my neck decided it no longer wanted to hold on to its current position of being what carries my big head around throughout the day. The wear and tear on it over the years / disc issues sometimes make it difficult to focus....I just wanted it to end....then I learned of someone who drew their last breath. It was as if that provided just enough ‘breath’ of my own to realize this was just a moment and would all pass. My husband had been trying to communicate that to me all day, but I wasn’t getting that first part of today’s life message. I have always found It remarkable to watch his patience with stuff like this. It always astounds me how calm He remains. He usually recognizes the attack is far darker than on this mere flesh and heads to gear up to protect the more important part of himself his spirit. Whereas with me, though I am not proud of it, I often need a little more prompting to rise from the barracks. I need a bit of a shove to stop floundering about in the surprise/panic of the alarm that’s been sounded and join the ranks. Thankfully, I eventually get there though.... ...my husband’s once seemingly annoying cheer was actually the powerful weaponry my hand needed to Fight properly...Not with my own hand crafted weapons, but with God's strength as He always sees me through.....After all I am alive aren't I? Here I am typing this, so it can't all be bad. That my friend is what is real, not all the rest of this day's junk.....so in this moment of reflection....today was a gift. Regardless of the highs and lows, it was my privilege not my right....and as I finally take pause to remember that, I can now say more appropriately, it was a good day because God was with me. I am here. Psalm 103 A psalm of David. 1 Let all that I am praise the Lord; with my whole heart, I will praise his holy name. 2 Let all that I am praise the Lord; may I never forget the good things he does for me. 3 He forgives all my sins and heals all my diseases. 4 He redeems me from death and crowns me with love and tender mercies. 5 He fills my life with good things.