Nothing Greater Than the Peace of God

One thing I can can count on more than anyone or anything or any knowledge is God's stillness. His unwavering presence, His mighty protection, His tremendous comfort in all times. Sometimes my mind moves about engulfed in all the uncertainties of the day, tangled in the decision making & trouble shooting. He doesn't join me in that dance. Instead He stands ready, armed with a prepared peace for me. His power stands outside of all man's time. He is unshakable, never leaving those who love Him. And the knowledge of that kind of reliability quiets my restless cares... “I am leaving you with a gift—peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid." John 14:27 (NLT) "The Lord is good, a strong refuge when trouble comes. He is close to those who trust in him" Nahum 1:7 (NLT)

Don't be a Light Snatcher

My child years ago was placed in a situation where she was being judged by her performance on one test area. Yet she was on the Honor Roll that year 3 quarters out of 4. She told me that individual made her feel dumb. I explained not everyone should teach and that she should just do her best no matter the audience. (I can make this assessment because I am blessed & surrounded by marvelous public educators as well as home educators) Anyhoo, she woke up this morning like she always does very nervous about a test. Not all children are the best test takers. She was second guessing herself, returning to that place of smallness she was placed in. I assured her it was just a test and that I know her work so I'm not worried. I wanted her to do the best that she is able to do & realize it's not defining her....She went on to Get an 89% on that test. I was proud of her, not for the number, but for releasing the lie. We have to remember as adults, how our words can be carried in the heart of a child for such a very long time. I'd rather support a joyful average student that wants to keep working at things, than be a "light snatcher Hebrews 10:24 Let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works .

Reflection on the Last Six months...

I've lived in fear and instability, and nervous energy for a lot of my life. And especially in the beginning of my recent trials with my child. I was very use to having my own health struggles and being okay with whatever came of them, but God allowed a new type of struggle to come in and teach me that I had to deliver everything to Him. I needed to hand a lot of compulsive thoughts and behaviors over to Him, including the need to control which at least I found myself doing in this instance by self comfort thru food. The last two days have been freeing and liberating relying on food once again for nourishment and not security. I stand humbled that my instinct was not to find some other way to control, as I've done time before, but rather draw near my Father. So the last six months has been an absolute blessing to me, something I could not have said Faithfully at the beginning of my journey. Much love to all. Luke:1:46 (NLT) .... “Oh, how my soul praises the Lord. 47 How my spirit rejoices in God my Savior! 48 For he took notice of his lowly servant girl, and from now on all generations will call me blessed. 49 For the Mighty One is holy, and he has done great things for me. 50 He shows mercy from generation to generation to all who fear him. 51 His mighty arm has done tremendous things!

Grey Stone

Most people will look at a picture of a tattered golden ring with a lumpy grey stone and not think twice about it, some I dare say will even be turned off by it all together. They may boldly state they don’t like it for some reason or another. Maybe it seems too rough; maybe it isn’t as polished or put together as someone might believe a ring should be. Perhaps they may think it loud or offensive. Yet an expert in this stone would see its true potential. That person would know it’s tremendous worth and wouldn’t right it off. They’d value, invest in, and accept the stone for the gem that it is. They would celebrate its beauty. That’s because the stone in the ring is a rough diamond. Sadly, the world teaches us to look at its beauty based on the shining and polishing of its outside. The world teaches us to jump on the band wagon of what the standard for value and beauty is instead of recognizing a beautiful precious stone. The same goes for many people. This world isn't the best teacher of acceptance of one another, but be assured we were made in the image of God himself. There is no better beauty if we tap into it. I want to be less focused on being accepted, or liked in terms of man’s standards and be grateful I am considered valuable by the expert Himself. God has been more than good to this rough grey stone. Most importantly, I pray that knowing I am accepted will help me be an instrument of acceptance towards other grey stones. 1 Samuel 16:7 But the LORD said to Samuel, “Don’t judge by his appearance or height, for I have rejected him. The LORD doesn't see things the way you see them. People judge by outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.” Love and peace to all YOU ARE NOT ALONE! {{HUGS}}

Praising the Father for bringing us thus Far...In the words of my daughter, "He never left us Mommy."

If only my minuscule words could justly share the experiences of the last several months, I’d be able to share the largest LOVE and Faith journey that has ever graced my life. However, words fall short when it comes to expressing these things with the precise accuracy of what has been shown to me. So for now I will grasp at inadequate detailing and simplistic linguistics to attempt to share the humble growth period God has allowed for my family. Several months ago I shared that my family was hit with a devastating blow when shortly after learning of some major issues going on inside my back and neck my daughter was dealing with her own issues in the curvature of her spine. She was in need of interventional surgery due to severe, advancing scoliosis and we were shocked. It progressed so rapidly, yet somehow I still felt like I was responsible for it happening. Unrealistic mother thoughts of how I am to somehow save her from everything including from any corrosion of her own DNA. We were in shock, afraid, and saddened by the news. As we investigated and explored all of our options our biggest concern as parents was wondering if we would we be making the right choice for her. She was a real person and this was happening to her body, yet we were the ones deciding upon something that would indeed affect the rest of her life. That in of itself was a hard pill to swallow. We moved forward and set up the surgery at the end of the summer per her request. She wanted to be able to enjoy the warm summer breezes and fun family nights with her friends and family. We gladly catered to the idea of waiting. She enjoyed a beautiful blessed budget stretched adventure at Disney, had multiple play dates with friends, and visited relatives to occupy her own little nervous mind. In all of the chaos her biggest concern seemed to be would she still be able to participate in the churches annual VBS week and so we made sure to get the date pushed after that. I was so proud of her for finding that as a valuable family event that she wanted to continue in despite knowing this huge trial awaited her ahead. Though it never really left our minds as parents the rule she made was that we were not to have tears or discussions about it until the summer’s completion. That in itself was a hard task as she is only 13 and would often wake up in the morning with her own multiple anxieties over things in the weeks leading up to it. So we ended up amending the rule and agreed talking about it would be her call and we would always use the opportunity to read the bible or pray for God’s comfort. She is a very quiet child when it comes to expressing her feelings and so we wanted to look for ways to promote her sharing since we knew it must’ve been a lot to process. With that said when it comes to her candidness she is her Father’s child. She had no problem directly asking questions flat out like, “Mommy, Daddy, will I wake up from the anesthesia…. And is there a possibility I might die?” it was a very difficult things for us to hear as parents. The craziest thing was she would temper the dialogue with very matter of fact speech that thought those things made her nervous she knew God loved her so no matter if she lived or died she knew He was with her…..like I said though a great way to endure things it was just all too much for her momma to hear her saying out loud. Especially because I just wanted so badly to have the ability to reach in and just straighten her spine myself. But that was the point, it wasn’t my job and the God of heaven who commands the power and authority to do just that not only loved her more than my heart could fathom, but needed me to be at my weakest that she might draw on His strength and not the strength of her parents. Two weeks ago this past Friday my daughter underwent the surgery. When I tell you nothing prepares you to emotionally accept this kind of pain staking truth outside of God’s Holy truth, I am not understating. I am also extremely thankful for the loving support system God carved out for our daughter and us. We just couldn’t have made it thru without His love working thru people. The first few days were the most difficult in this early stage of recovery and though watching your child suffer is no easy task we truly felt God’s arms around us as we strived to comfort her. Perspective is not allowing oneself to concentrate on simple unimportant matters in life but rather to humbly thank God for what simply matters. Watching her taker her first painful steps might have been difficult as we know it was the deepest pain she has ever known, but it created a tremendous joy in our hearts to reach down deep and continue in hope. Often in the hospital and even now at home she and I just kept repeating to ourselves, “I can do all things thru Christ who strengthens me.” Philippians 4;13. We prayed and prayed that each day would bring more comfort and so far it definitely has. She still has soooooooooo much healing and recovery a head, but we know God’s love and we are honored that He would bring us this far. So we know He won’t leave us….But by means of their suffering, He rescues those who suffer. For He gets their attention through adversity. “God is leading you away from danger, Job, to a place free from distress. He is setting your table with the best food. -Job 36:15-16 NLT...I inserted my name where Job's is found. We all have obstacles on this journey of life and sometimes they fill like direct attacks or isolated thunder storms over our individual heads...BUT perhaps that latest setback is actually being used to propel you forward. This Life's temporary. God empowers us today for something Greater!!

Repost...

This is an older post from '08 that really speaks volumes to my families current situation and my thinking on the matter. Hope to log in soon to share reflections of the last four months of our journey. Until then as always friends, Keep your head up because that is the direction of the Son-shine... My True Thanks Giving: Ever feel your attempts at communicating the emotions that accompany the exhaustion in your heart are just plain feeble? Sometimes it's just beyond your words to express the isolation that your individual experiences can lead you to on those coarser days. There's a sadness that begins to settle when you realize the weather patterns not changing, so you better put on your raincoat and raise your umbrella because this will be a long storm. I've known those feeling and I've always thanked the Father for teaching me that those feelings are a misconception. They are like illusions. Lies of the heart that the Devil uses to separate us from the Father's loving hand. They cannot and will not reflect the certainty of Joy that comes from resting in the Father's love. Romans 8:26 "In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express." Now that's not to say we aren't surrounded by flesh. So for the most part many of us (maybe not all, but for most of us) we'll need to discard the lies of the flesh so that we can press on. Those feelings will come, but the challenge for those of us who believe is to release them and instead cling to what is real & lasting. Philippians 3:3 "For it is we who are the circumcision, we who worship by the Spirit of God, who glory in Christ Jesus, and who put no confidence in the flesh." I am always so profoundly impressed when the Father equips me to stand in His love. Job 36:15 "But those who suffer He delivers in their suffering; He speaks to them in their affliction." What a remarkable strength that clearly surpasses my own. A renewal that can only come from a parent's affirming love. No matter what type of up bringing we 've had, no matter who we looked at for parental guidance we were always strongest when we received reassuring love. A great example of that is in Luke 15:20 (The example of the Prodigal Son) "So he got up and went to his father.... But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him." What loving mercy. My Faith deepens each and every time the Lord chooses to personally come down and rescue me, even when it's from myself at times. Isaiah 66:11-16. What protection, what generosity like no other. Don't you just love it when you know sometimes all the aspects of your day were specifically designed to refresh you?... to get you to hold on. To protect your grip from slipping. He doesn't have to do that. He doesn't have to repeatedly demonstrate His love (I mean come one he gave us Jesus already) but he does. Sometimes it's in a babies smile, or your children's laughter, or the Churches' voice singing, or in the pages of the bible, or revealed in answered prayer. Perhaps it's in a hug without words, or a listening ear, or a loved ones forgiveness, or your forgiveness to that loved one. All of it, big and small, a design of love from God. I thank you Father this day. I truly do. See He doesn't accuse; He doesn't grow impatient; He just reaches down and takes hold of us. Now if that's not giving I don't know what is. That my friends is exactly why I had a wonderful Thanks Giving Holiday. Love you Daddy! Philippians 3 (continued...) vs.7 But whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. 8What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ 9and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ—the righteousness that comes from God and is by faith. 10I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, 11and so, somehow, to attain to the resurrection from the dead.

He has Already Made Me Victorious

1 John 4:4 (NLT) "But YOU belong to God, my dear children. You have ALREADY won a VICTORY over those people, because THE SPIRIT who lives in you is GREATER THAN the spirit who lives in the world." ....THIS IS THE POWER that propels me to stay joyful. The power of the King of Kings. I RELY ON THIS TRUTH knowing that He who sits above all forces of nature and all darkness of this world has already made me victorious by redemption thru the blood of His son. He makes me whole and protects my soul from all challenges that I face because I stand in His mercies. Not because I am worthy, but because He gifts me that freedom. So here I stand in the firm grip of His sovereign hand, delighting in the Brightness of His eternal glory. God is able.

There is a Hope in Jesus

So much going on... too much to share in the limited time I have before waiting for the office to open so I can make the next call to the doctor, but to those that have been following our journey I'd like to add a brief share. A few months ago I was told several things were going on and wrong with my back. Most of it manageable, but at the time it was creating trouble with my walking and created numbness in the hands and feet. I had developed two cyst, one in the neck and one in the lower spine as well as several bone spurs thru out the disc. I needed intense physical therapy that ended prematurely because my body couldn't handle the shifting that came with some of the techniques. (PT's advice, not whatI wanted as it was finally starting to help some of the pain). I started to get sad again and needed extra doses of God's good word. I thought that it was going to be way too much to digest after the various things I had moved past the last 2 1/2 years (only by God's good strength), when suddenly none of it even mattered anymore. Within weeks of that diagnosis, my daughter was diagnosed with a really bad S curve do to scoliosis of her spine. Quickly and swiftly we were being told she should under go surgical intervention for this condition. We went for the second opinion consult at a very well known Hospital in the city and they confirmed we should move forward. This was such a devastating blow to myself and Hubby as she is very tiny. It will require major surgery. After tons of prayer and lots of support from family and church family we made the decision to move forward. The best part has been watching my daughter's faith grow. After the crying and the initial shock from all of it, she told me, "Mommy it's going to be okay. God had put this in my life for a reason and I know it's also to help me stay close to Him." I couldn't believe the little voice with such power that was talking to me, but she has been a pillar since. And trying to use the opportunity to share God with everyone she meets through the multiple Dr. visits and various testing. I am learning a lot through god using my own child. However, some days are hard especially because she has some other health issues that take a toll on her little body. Watching her deal with all of this has been one of the most challenging things I've endured as a parent. I myself have been chronically ill in some form or another for the last 13 years and God has always kept me joyful, but nothing prepared my mine for this. I love her so much. I am asking God to help me remember He not only created her, He also loves her more than my heart can house. If you too are sad or overwhelmed, please know and trust God is always working. Please know your are not alone. He loves us so much and merely wants us to turn towards Him during these difficult times. Sometimes things are stacked soooo high. If you focus on the fact that they are swaying as they are rising and not on the Wisdom of the one who strategically placed them on top of each other then you loose sight of trusting that none of it it will fall over. God's been engineering along time. He doesn't need my understanding of His skill... just my submission to it. We know He is working; God is able! Psalm 107:26-28, 30-31 NIV ...; in their peril their courage melted away:. They reeled and staggered like drunkards; they were at their wits’ end. Then they cried out to the Lord in their trouble, and he brought them out of their distress. They were glad when it grew calm, and he guided them to their desired haven. Let them give thanks to the Lord for his unfailing love and his wonderful deeds for mankind.

Hope

One thing the World's darkness can never snuff out is the light of Hope that lives inside my Soul as I await for the redemption of my Soul....& that's not because there hasn't been several attempts to do that, but rather because it is not dependent on that which surrounds my life force, but instead on Him (Christ) who provides it from deep within me..."Hope= the act of looking FORWARD to something with DESIRE and REASONABLE CONFIDENCE"...Romans 8:24-25 (NIV) For IN THIS hope we were saved. Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what he sees? 25 BUT if we HOPE for what we do not see, we WAIT for it with Patience.....no matter what the trial is shouting at you...rest assured knowing that In Christ we can have full completion and one day these fleeting things will pass! Love and Peace friends.

All that He Gave...

"Yet it was our weaknesses He carried; it was our sorrows that weighed Him down....He was pierced for our rebellion, crushed for our sins. He was beaten so we could be whole. He was whipped so we could be healed. All of us, like sheep, have gone astray....No one cared that He died without descendants, that His life was cut short in midstream. But He was struck down....When He sees all that is accomplished by His anguish, He will be satisfied.....And because of His experience, my righteous servant will make it possible for many to be counted righteous, for He will bear all their sins. I will give Him the honors of a victorious soldier, because He exposed himself to death." Isaiah 53:4-12 NLT...& this is why I Love Him so :-) ♥...Hope everyone Has a wonderful Weekend Celebrating The Resurrection of Christ, without Him I personally could endure nothing!

God Can and He WILL...

Metaphorically & literally..I've felt the sting of when you’re knocked to your knees on a course surface & your trying to muster up the strength to rise back up thru the burn from having wounded them only to be knocked back down on to them again. You have two choices at that point, either get back up or stay down. I might have taken a few too many minutes to shake of the sting & pull up off that first downed knee, here and there, but they both ready to be used. Ready to rise up, and keep it moving..God equips us regardless of the equipment, if we let Him! Phil. 4:13-20 For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength… And this same God who takes care of me will supply all your needs from his glorious riches, which have been given to us in Christ Jesus. Now all glory to God our Father forever and ever! Amen.

This School Year in Review

What a difference a year makes. I can't believe it's already April. Very thankful my youngest was brought home.(Disclaimer: I believe every kids is different & that public education offers many wonderful Educators)...However for my family, this year offered so much for my once shy, isolated baby,who was often the subject of bullying. Though she still feels comfortable playing by herself...she's learned to feel free anytime of day to resort to prayer thru any trial big or small, made great friendships, learned her talents, excelled in her weaker subjects, fallen in love with reading, and participated in an awesome cooperative learning group with some beautiful children. What a gifted time this year was, thanking God for how much she's grown. :) “Do not fear, for I am with you; Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, Surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.” Isaiah 41:10

Wow, it's been six months since my hole closure and I can't believe I just hadn't had a chance to update. I am praising God my heart responded very well to closure and is healing quite nicely with the patch in place. Thankfully, I have not experienced any further TIA or speech issues, however, surgery did not cure my migraines as so many people eluded to. I still suffer from the disease of migraine, in fact right after surgery they thought I was having another TIA when they began to realize after running several test I am having a new symptom with my migraines that involved the eyes. I tried to explain that as it was nothing like the experiences when the two Hypertensive crisis lead to TIA symptoms. They mistakenly thought my many visual disturbances right after surgery was a possible blood clot. That has seemed to pass, however, I will occasionally have some dizziness when having the head pain. All in all, I do not regret the decision I made to have the procedure done. It was never intended to cure my head issues, but rather guard my heart and brain against my BP issues. So I am thankful. I have also been making a lot of changes in my life choices, since wrapping up the Holidays. I love to cook and I love to entertain, but everything in moderation. I found myself slipping out of my preventative habits and my BP slowly creeping back towards crisis standards and so now I am back to my life savers...with my truest life saver, God, helping me of course. The last several week, I've been exercising 5 days a week, at least a half hour , day or night, whenever the chronic pain allows...sometimes even when it doesn't want to allow. I try to fight thru it, because I am the only me I have and this me wants to be here for my precious Jules.It seems small, but adjusting my eating is never that hard, yet it's never enough. Unfortunately, genetics are working against me and so I have to do all I can to stay well. Anyhoo, enough about me. I hope you are each well, and if you are not please know there is a Hope and a love that quenches all pain. God truly loves us. I may not know you, but I pray as you read this you may know you are not a lone. My life's not perfect, but it's blessed. Envisioning Heaven and my Life there often helps me Keep my head up when many people wonder why it's not down. I wrote this song & hope it encourages some of you: 'Heaven's Gate' by:Natasha Jules I sang at the Feet of the King He told me, "My child I love you!" I started to understand all of the things that I been thru. Like every time I laughed, His Spirit was teaching me Joy. And every time I cried I was empowered to Fight the ploy. ...Nothing the world could have offered could ever replace this day. I looked all around for Jesus, He's the reason I'm able to stay. I went to throw my arms around Him, I asked Him was that okay. He said, "Tasha don't be silly, I've been holding you Every day." Then I dropped to my Knees towards my Father again , I thanked Him for all that He gave. I told Him my heart felt such Love here, From all of His power displayed. I never EVER could have imagined, All of that would be worth all of THIS. I'm happy He helped me to Hold on and now I am in truest bliss.