Tah Tah for Now!

The past couple of weeks have been difficult. I’ve been in a lot of pain and because of that I’ve been feeling mostly funky, but thankfully we don’t get to Heaven because of our feelings. Christ set a loving example for us concerning Endurance. This is what we use despite how we're feeling to help us run the race to obtain the Spiritual goal of Heaven.

There is so much behind the word Endurance. My quite time this morning was a good opportunity to reflect on how much power lies in that word. I found some excellent definitions on Accurate and Reliable Dictionary’s website as I studied Romans 15 and Colossians 1…
Here are a few of those definitions:
- The act of bearing or suffering; a continuing under pain or distress without resistance, (That’s so important/ letting go and letting God.) without being overcome; sufferance; patience. (...another key component to genuine endurance.)
- The power to withstand hardship or stress; ex:"the marathon tests a runner’s endurance" (“Testing” that is something that as long as we lie in the flesh we will constantly undergo. We must be refined.)
- A state of surviving, remaining alive (…Oh they're “Preaching to the choir" as the say, concerning this one; some days that is truly all I am trying to do all I can do…through God of course.)

I want to pull out some buzz words and phrases from the listing above: CONTINUING, WITHOUT RESISTANCE, WITHOUT BEING OVERCOME, POWER TO WITHSTAND, SURVIVING, REMAINING ALIVE.

Endurance requires a fuel source for these things to happen. If that fuel source becomes depleted we must look to replace it or else will never finish the race. From a physical stand point, the free Encyclopedia, Wikipedia states various ways we become depleted, "The need for sleep, the buildup of non-recyclable waste chemicals, the depletion of convertible energy stores and other needed chemicals (e.g., water, sodium), physical injury, psychological failure, or attainment of the goal will bring the effort to an end." Therefore we need to rely on God, who provides an over abundant source of energy for us to utilize as we strive to attain the goal. We allow Him to accomplish victory in us when our endurance leads to Hope. Endurance is nothing without Hope. In fact the Father through his marvelous word often pairs the two together. Romans 15:4 For everything that was written in the past was written to teach us, so that through endurance and the encouragement of the scriptures we might have Hope. Romans15: 13 May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace, as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

So my hope is this, as long as breath flows through my body, I pray I will continue on this journey. I have two desires as I reach for that attainment. Both that require constant refueling. One: that I may always live for my Daddy God and two: that I will never allow the physical blockers to prematurely end my race. Instead, I pray I stop only at the attainment of the goal, my Sweet Home with God in Heaven. As a side note: Home School will be starting soon. I am excited about the New Year but I am sure that means I will rarely be on here. Nonetheless, I am going to hold myself to the commitment to write (whether it’s through blogging or just at home on paper, I will make time for this). In the meanwhile, if it takes some time to hear from me again, please know it has been an enjoyable experience sharing my internal dialogue with others. Romans 15:5-6 May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you a spirit of unity among yourselves as you follow Christ Jesus, so that with one heart and mouth you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. God bless!

Pressing forward through Him,
T.J.

Father Knows Best

Giving out discipline's no fun for the Lord but it’s a necessity to train his children. He does it because He loves us. He knows what’s best. No matter how difficult it may be, He’ll use what ever He must to shape and mold us. After several days of good health, I needed the reminder again that I am not in control of my life. In his perfect disciplining process He gave me that reminder when I went "down for the count' Sunday night. God bless Hubby for staying home with me on Monday. I went from one extreme of health to the other, falling flat on my face. Flat on our face is where we need to be anyway, in order to submit to the Father’s control over our lives.

Like most families in our nation, our household is under going various trials. Recently, those trials have lead my wheels to start spinning overtime. I've been allowing myself to consider several ways that I (key word “I” not God) could be useful in helping alleviate some of the pressure of these situations. Their not bad things, but many are not necessarily beneficial. "Everything is permissible but not everything is beneficial." That's been a big mistake; running ahead of God in this situation.

In reflection, I am so thankful for his mercies. For training me that I need to take it down a notch, pray, and just conform to where He is leading us. That's often difficult but it's worth it in the end. I mean think about it, would you walk up to the Captain of a ship and say, "Scoot over, I've come up with some new coordinates that will get us to the destination faster."!? Of course not, so why do it to our Captain God. (Is anyone noting my obsession with the Sea when I'm blogging/Love boat anyone?....jokes aside,) When we get out of the way and allow our plans to flow according to ”His time” then we can be at peace concerning our plans. That reminds me of the song “A different Road” … 'I’ve run ahead…I’ve gone to slow. I’ve got to be still now, wait upon His will now, this time it’s going to be His time.'

My nature is combative of that; my mind has always been too black and white. I look to assess a situation, come up with a plan of attack, and execute it. However, things shouldn't’t be made to seem so simple. Many of us would then believe the lie that we are self-reliant. Perhaps even forfeit our Spiritual inheritance; assuming this nonsense is all that life is about. Therefore, lovingly, God has used illness the past eight years to protect me from that. (Sometimes God puts my flesh down so hard… that I cannot literally catch my breath to let out sound to cry from the pain, but I thank Him for it. Call me crazy but it trains me.)

Now don’t get it twisted, like most children who ask for a different form of discipline (ex: “Can I stand in the corner instead of not playing my video games?) I’d love a new form of training but I can’t pretend this one isn’t working. It’s hard to endure at times but it's discipline, good Godly discipline and I am made a better person for it. It’s taught me so much about me & My Daddy and our very real & lasting bond. It’s also taught my husband and I how to bond. The more we undergo, the more we value each other. I appreciate his perspective. When my husband looks at the mountain of trials before us, he doesn’t try to become the solution but rather be used in the solution process, and then he waits for God to handle it. That’s what I am learning to do. Wait.
Psalm 37:5-7 Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him and he will do this: He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun. Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him....

The Love Boat, Something exciting for everyone

Instead of going to sleep last night, you know what I did? I went on a cruise boat and to a beautiful Island. Well, in my mind anyway. I stayed up late watching old episodes of “The Love Boat” and clips of “Fantasy Island”. It was great.

I don’t know where it’s written but there’s some handbook, somewhere., that says, when you are in your thirties you must have some sort of midlife crisis. (No matter the size and no matter if anybody knows, you just have to have it.) Thankfully mine is starting off small in diameter. It’s been manifesting itself in the form of a strong urge to watch all things 70’s on the computer.

I now even have Hubby involved with my madness, having him rent Wonder Woman on DVD for me any chance he gets. He was the one that lovingly broke the news to me that I wasn’t going to gain back time no matter how many episodes I watched…. Ouch! I appreciate his honesty but can’t I just relish the moment a little while longer, smile. It's not even that I really want to go back there, you just appreciate more how time stops for no man. That's why you have to live life fully. I’m partly being silly, but it’s been a fun summer checking out these older shows. We don't get much time watching the "tube" (showing my age again) when the Home School Year starts.

Perhaps I can write something more meaningful later in the week but for now let me just end by sharing a quick story. Daddy God is so sweet, so good, and so perfect. He got myself and two other sisters with health issues through a very encouraging week of service for VBS. The three of us had a blast together. Now you might wonder and I hope not, “Well what’s so grand about that?” it’s grand because He’s so powerful…a few days earlier one of those two Sisters and I were on the phone praying/crying because we were both in so much physical pain and He answered us. He wiped our eyes, put on our band-aids, and sent us off. My point is, don’t give up praying. He is listening no matter what, just remain in petition. 1 Samuel 1:15-17: I was pouring out my soul to the LORD…. I have been praying here out of my great anguish and grief…. Eli answered, "Go in peace, and may the God of Israel grant you what you have asked of him."

Love, the best medicine:

Wow! This morning I woke up with crushing pain in my head (chronic migraines), neck pain (bad back), and complete exhaustion (hypohomocysteinemia) and thought, “Oh what a nasty day physically this will be”. However, my insides suggested differently as His Spirit reminded me to feel joy. Daddy God saw fit to raise me to life on this Day. So once again, today I choose joy. Now that doesn’t mean I don’t still feel like crap but it won’t rob me of my joy. What made things more complicated is that I have a ladies fellowship this evening at my home and poor hubby had to go off to work so very early. Thankfully, that OCD of mine (which is not always a blessing) kicked in high gear last night and so I cleaned from top to bottom and prepared everything in advance. Also, I am blessed to have very understanding, loving relationships in God’s kingdom, whom each show me tremendous support on my off days. So (by the grace of God) I’ll be fine.

I think my biggest concern this morning was more so hubby. He is an amazing man. We’ve been together for 16 years, married for 13 &1/2 (got to count the half ;-) ). He is such a source of strength and support for our family and I just long for the day he can get some rest. Like a double-edged sword I recognize the blessing and the training this time of testing is producing for both of our lives, but I also know the toil it takes on him to rise up at 3:30 most mornings only to return in the late evening and minister to us. I am learning to follow his example in his passionate trust of the Lord; I know that this two shall pass.

Ironically, or Spirit purposed, which ever way you want to look at it, Bible gateway’s scripture of the day derives from the same chapter of the bible that we are using to prepare for an upcoming Women’s day at Church. Therefore, I just decided to run with the correlation and make that my quiet time for the day. Good choice I must say (Luke 12)! It reminded me that all though it can be challenging being a single income family, battling a couple of financial ups and downs, we are so truly blessed in that our treasures are not stored in this world. Hubby and I have been poor in every sense of the word and we’ve lived in abundance, and we’ve lived in this place now, (getting by on God’s hands alone) but overall we’ve remained in love. Ah love! One of the greatest treasures you actually can carry over to Heaven. So though my heart might be a little sad and my body in a little pain, and his body a little tired, I rejoice that we are experiencing things together. Luke 13:34, "For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."
God bless!

Refresh yourself through written word...

Disclaimer: I am not a professional blogger :)...I cannot believe I finally stopped in the moment to start this venture. I am ready. My prayer is that I can encourage just one other person by sharing my experiences. I also look forward to the impact reading what other people share will have on my Soul.

Between, church activities, family activities, doctor’s visits, home schooling, dance class, health problems, and keeping the home, I thought this time would never come. I often thought to myself, “…(with my terrible OCD and over planning of each day), who has time for blogging!!?” However, I now recognize it is no longer an option but instead a requirement.

Writing is so therapeutic; the power of written word is remarkable. It frees the soul and challenges the mind. It helps us take the time to remember who we are and where we are going. This world is so fast pace, “do this”, “do that”, “be here”, “be there”, “look at this”, and “look at that”, it’s never ending. No wonder we get tired, over committed, envious, and burnt out. If we plan to stay talented at organizing our families and helping them execute their own days, then we have to stay on top of ministering to our own needs. Writing things down can help that. We have to stop and take the time to organize our own thought process.

This has always been a challenge for me. God is training me to think differently about ‘taking out time for self’. In the past I would find myself too guilt-ridden to set personal goals. I worried that my sickness was already taking up so much time from the family that I thought it a crime to spend energy on my own interest. I exhausted myself overcompensating, spending all my energies on their needs and ignoring my own. Then I would get burnt out. FYI, that’s not humility that’s just plain old pride. Silly human. I thank God for hindsight; God is training me to know that I do not need to create my own disciplines, nor does he want me to trade discipline for punishment by neglecting myself. Instead I am to be a part of a disciplined lifestyle; I too can be part of the importance of the day. In fact, without valuing the importance that God himself has placed on our individual lives, we will be useless to others.

Okay well, that’s all for now, sorry so much so soon, but had to start somewhere. God bless.

PS: Get to know me...Here are some of my goals:

• Explore avenues on how to become more involved with Cancer and Migraine Research perhaps build a website (...dabbling in it but not where I want to be)
• Write Music (...finish the c.d I've been making for the past two years)
• Dance Again (...I love dance as a form of expression)
• Learn the Guitar (..another venture, I've been undertaking for two years ;-) )
• Read More/laugh more/explore more

I'll keep you posted ;)