God's plan not our own.....

Yikes! I haven’t written in months. So much has been going on I just haven’t had the opportunity to put thought to pen tip. As always my hope is that by my sharing my life’s journey at least one person will be able to walk away feeling a little less isolated through their trials. Not because anything I have to share is of value, but rather because God in His greatness has created us in such away that those trial can connect us, if we allow them to. They can also teach us to lean that much harder on His power and not our own.

So bottom line is my health is still stinky. I actually had to stop a part time teaching position I had picked up to supplement our income because I had new complications. That was frustrating, but you have to see the good in every roadblock. I truly believe that God directs our steps and so we yielded to Him in this area. I’m not sure what the tomorrow will bring, but there wasn’t going to be much of one if I kept running myself down the way I was doing. It's less stressful to just stay here in the today knowing God is the one working.

I’m learning more and more that it's really about remembering whom the plan belongs to. Not that this is a new epiphany but I have to give everything over to God for it to truly succeed. For a while I was trying to co-write the plan and that’s just not how it works. I'm not saying we shouldn't be organized or work at everything we can to bring God the glory, but when we start thinking anything we are doing holds any weight to what we accomplish oh we are seriously mistaken. I needed to be reminded of that when more health trials started appearing. I needed to trust and believe anything I do or my husband does, or we do together to support this family is accomplished only thru the Father. And when you literally can't support in a particular way for any particular reason, He still will and can do the accomplishing.

So anyhoo, regardless of how short lived the financial support was on my part it was nice having the opportunity to meet new people and talk about God with them…, which is actually of more value than any check, could provide. So I’m still thankful.

Basically, moving out this way has created a lot of new symptoms. My migraines have escalated to visual disturbances and I am now unable to drive a car whenever they become that severe. I’ve also had a wicked battle with asthma the last several months and boy was I shocked by that. Even though I have had it my whole life it was fairly stabilized for most of my time as an adult and then suddenly it showed back up on my doorstep one brisk autumn’s evening with a vengeance. SO I could only wonder who made my Asthma mad? Man I had forgotten how scary and life threatening this disease is. In general if we are able to wake up each day we really need to count the smaller blessing or the ones we think of less frequently like even being able to breath. Someone asked me recently how has this time been and I said, I’d take my migraine attacks on their own any day, that’s how bad it’s been. That person new it must’ve be taxing because they knew my migraines are nothing short of debilitating. However I felt it warranted the description.

I haven’t been hospitalized in years yet the asthma, combined with some terrible BP issues, and my migraines had all put me down swiftly. Lying in that bed with a migraine and feeling like I couldn’t catch any wind inside of me while my pressure raced out of control made me feel complete and utter exhaustion. I felt like I literally could not endure another problem that related to my health and so I became mentally bankrupt at that time from the toll of everything. Good thing is that God never left me. I had such tremendous support from family and friends and more importantly I felt the love of the Lord through his powerful word. I wanted to post a scripture that I’ve been learning to cling to. Despite our trials despite our struggle and disappointments, whether they are physical or financial whether they are emotional or Spiritual if we claim Jesus as Lord, if we obey His gospel through his Death Burial and Resurrection, by repentance and emersion in baptisms water God had this promise for us and so the rest is nothing in comparison of that. (I encourage you to submit your name where you see the word Jacob and Israel appear. It’s amazing to see how personal the scripture becomes when you take it in personally.):

Isaiah 43:1-5
1 But now, O Jacob, listen to the LORD who created you.
O Israel, the one who formed you says,
“Do not be afraid, for I have ransomed you.
I have called you by name; you are mine.
2 When you go through deep waters,
I will be with you.
When you go through rivers of difficulty,
you will not drown.
When you walk through the fire of oppression,
you will not be burned up;
the flames will not consume you.
3 For I am the LORD, your God,
the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.
I gave Egypt as a ransom for your freedom;
I gave Ethiopia[a] and Seba in your place.
4 Others were given in exchange for you.
I traded their lives for yours
because you are precious to me.
You are honored, and I love you.
5 “Do not be afraid, for I am with you.
I will gather you and your children from east and west

Never forgetting God is the Maker

Why emotional camouflage? …”Camouflages are emotional subterfuges we devise for ourselves-subterfuges that exact a tremendous toll on everyone involved (including self).” D.L. Carlson M.D. In war it’s used to blend one’s self into one’s surroundings so as not to be detected, but emotionally why would we need to work so hard to hide ourselves from people? It’s unavailing. Protecting our true form from the judgment of others when it’s God’s judgment we should be concerned with is a dangerous game. Don’t play the game; God’s the only one qualified to judge & camouflage is not going to work on Him.

Matthew 10:28Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather, be afraid of the One who can destroy both soul and body in hell.

THIS JUST IN: It's wonderful when you share your thoughts and someone can lend wonderful insight for you.... One of my beautiful Sister's in Christ gave me an awesome insight and a beautiful perspective into why people might take the road of masking their true form to others. See how I was viewing it is that it must be so much work guarding ourselves from others, pretending to be something that we're not. When in fact some people find it more work to reveal their true selves. It can be rather daunting to show who you really are to others and allow for a chance at your mind feeling the shame that comes with needing to be bare before the Lord. What is better for us to recognize is that nothing we are can keep us from God if we are open to transforming in His light. God loved us while we were His enemies, so he is quite aware who we each are and if it didn't stop Him from loving us then we have to trust His love and know if we immerse ourselves in baptism water His son’s blood will cleanse us. He is our Daddy King and his power can make us whole if we get out of His way. So let’s live transparent , allowing for God to clean us here now, in the flesh, so we can one day be with Him in eternity! .

I Won't Apologize for my Joy by:Given Precious Jules

I'd like to share one of my poems I wrote a while back. In light of me coming to a point in my walk in Christ where I am truly understanding the deeper meaning of these poetic lines, I was able to reflect on it again. Perhaps you can too. Before I do that I'd like to give a little background about my nature. I am the type of person who even if you are treating me poorly, if you ask me to walk a mile with you I will ask you if you'd like me to carry you on my back for most of the way. I am deeply loyal, but I am recognizing more and more that doesn't mean I have to be a doormat for others. Don't get me wrong I will always pray I may be useful to My Lord through any and every form of humility that he allows me to experience while in flesh however, that doesn't mean I have to let your negativity change my joy. I don't have to allow someone else's journey bring down mine. Sometimes people are going to try to crowd out God's light. They might be full of anger, rage, darkness, negativity, frustration and bitterness in their hearts. And so you have to decide at some point if they aren't letting me help, if they don't want my help, if they think they'd do better without my help to just leave them be. Not stop loving them, not stop praying for them, but accept that they have to give it to God just the same way you do. Without God I'd be a wreck and so I wont apologize to anyone for seeing the optimism in blindly trusting Him along the way...

I Won't Apologize for my Joy by:Given Precious Jules

I won't apologize for my sunshine if it somehow bothers you.
Make excuse for my joy, For He rises above the blue.
The way His love for me burns so bright that His lightOver powers the pain
...So strong and filled with hope that it blocks out all the rain.
His joy is blinding, REMINDING (me)...Of all He has to give
and I praise Him for the day He gave me light to live.
Why would I stay sad? Why would I get mad? Why would I behave as if the SON doesn't shine?
If that is what you need to do then go ahead, but let me rejoice in mine.
You might look at me and think, "Why is she so Happy with so much going wrong???
It's because He shines on me, giving my heart it's joyful song.
I won't apologize for my sunshine if it somehow bothers you.
Make excuse for my joy, For He rises above the blue.
He strengthens me more than any other source could.
He let His son die for me when nobody else ever would.
I sing to Him because He beams from deep inside.
I have peace in Him, a kind I just refuse to hide.
Times get hard, but he pushes past the dark clouds that try to creep in.
Shouting, "Hold strong my child trust in me and together we'll win!"
Taking hold of me even when my heart seems gray.
He delivers me, swooping down he saves the day.
So... I won't apologize for my sunshine if it somehow bothers you.
Make excuse for my joy, ...For He rises above the blue


"I am not ashamed of the gospel, because it is the power of God for the salvation of everyone who believes: first for the Jew, then for the Gentile."- Romans 1:16

Just thinkin out loud...

Just sitting here havin one of my word pic moments, thought I'd share out loud...perserverance is not just haning in there, but knowing there is something better...

I have this vision bouncing around in my head whenever I am feeling run down. By God's grace it helps encourage me to trust a little more...A train commuter is worried about one thing getting home from work. They don’t fixate on the fact that they’re packed in like sardines, uncomfortable, or even tired. No,they endure it all & prepare. Pushing out the difficulties of the world they fix their minds on the goodness of Home & envision themselves there. Those in Christ... must NEVER loose sight that we haven’t arrived at our final destination. Heaven is worth the commute.


Isaiah 58:13-14…and if you honor it by not going your own way and not doing as you please or speaking idle words, 14 then you will find your joy in the LORD, and I will cause you to ride on the heights of the land and to feast on the inheritance of your father Jacob.

He's made me bold with strength in my soul...

Hi Everyone,

Wow, this has been way too long. I miss catching up with other souls who blog and others who journal their lives. Yay to Summer!!!! I’ve been waiting for quite some time for June to come and officially kick of the fun. I still battle with my health during this time however, having extra time with the Hubby and children as a family unit seems to add a kick to empowering me. I could never express in worded form what that does for me. So Lord willing can’t wait to start some family fun. Anyhoo, there's much that has been going on and God has been showing me amazing things.

I am happy to report the children and I have survived their first year in public education. Having home schooled them for four years it was a challenge to the mind and to my flesh to partake on this journey. As a matter of fact sadly God had to pull me kicking and screaming for a lot of the way, but like a good parent He waited for me to abort “Tantrum” mode and do what I was told. To learn to trust He knew what was best for me.

It’s not that Hubby and I were against education outside of the home; our Faith stands outside of the boundaries of educational walls and we continue to try our best to train the children to Love and fear the Lord, but it was more so the fact that my health struggles prevented me from continuing with our goal in this particular area that frustrated me.

I was disappointed that my body wasn’t cooperating with my often-busy mind. See God has gifted me with a very high thresh hole for pain and so when I could no longer perform the task of teaching my children from home a part of me felt defeated and something felt dead inside…. No violins here though, that’s just plain old ugly pride and I am glad the Father is showing me to rely on His power alone. In looking at the last nine months it was difficult but completely transforming. I feel that much closer to Him for it.

So what’s my point, why today’s rambles??? I guess because if your like me your human, and sooner or later something will come a long big or small that will not allow you to rely on yourself fully. Embrace the moment!!! It can draw you closer to God. Let yourself be yoked with Him, it’s so worth it. I am not perfected in this by any means; I just know how satisfying it’s been to know who has me. Matt. 11: 28 Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, & I will give you rest. 29Take my yoke upon you & learn from me,...you will find rest for your souls.**The word yoke is believed to be derived from P.I.E. Yugam"(yoke),verb "Yeug"(join unite) It's a wooden beam which is used between a pair of oxen to allow them to pull a load (wikipedia defintion). They don’t turn or shift w/o eachother, they work together. Let yourself be yoked with Him…It might ache a little, but it's always good to be brought a little lower so He can raise a little Higher in your day!!! “Pride is insolence, and belief in human power is impiety. True strength lies in submission which permits one to dedicate his life, through devotion, to a power beyond himself.

Psalm 138:3 NKJV.."In the day when I cried out, You answered me,And made me bold with strength in my soul." Psalm 32:6 NIV "Therefore let everyone who is godly pray to you,while you may be found; surely when the mighty waters rise, they will not reach him."

Exposing the Underbelly

Exposing The Underbelly

1 Peter 5:6 Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time.

Now as simplistic as it may sound I sometimes grasp Spiritual concepts deeper through the use of word pictures. The moment I read this passage I envisioned us lowering ourselves before God much like a dog does to it’s Master’s hand. Images like this make me do a little research on what I’m picturing mentally. In doing so I found some interesting things to reflect on.

I learned that when dogs are born their Mother’s constantly turn them over to clean and care for them because they cannot take care of themselves. Much like us, this is not met without some resistance. However, because the Mother is bigger and stronger eventually the puppy learns to submit to her authority and decides to roll over. They begin to understand that she is essentially their Master and that she is looking out for them, regardless of what they may think or want at the time. At some point they get the connection that she is there to help them.

As dogs grow and mature most begin to apply these same principles when showing submission to their Human Masters. That’s why you’ll see a dog roll on its side or on it’s back when they see a human loved one approaching. Now they could very well turn and bite the hand that feeds them, but this would be out of fear. This kind of behavior would be out of a need to remain in control but instead the majority of dogs will relinquish all their power. Despite not knowing in advance what that person might or might not do for them, they will choose to submit themselves based on the knowledge that this is who pledges to care for them. They will expose the most vulnerable, the weakest part of their being, the under belly, all in an effort to show they have placed full trust in them.

Shouldn’t we do the same? ‘Humble yourself under God’s mighty hand”, I really needed to stop and take the time to consider what that requires. It’s easy for me to say I want to be humble to God but it can’t be something I show with words but rather by my actions. It requires pliability, it requires ‘letting Go and letting God’ as the phrase so cleverly describes. It means I am ready to be vulnerable to His will even though I may have my own. There are many definitions for the word “humble”. When I was considering my part in applying this scripture here is one that greatly affected me, “lowering in condition or importance; destroying the independence, power or will of.” Yikes! … Now that sounds a bit scary but this type of surrendering works out for my benefit. When I humble myself to God’s mighty hand I am trusting in His Authority, I am proving that I believe He’d never harm me, and I am appreciating how much he takes care of things for me. Exposing my “under belly” which is my Soul into God’s hands means that I will not give way to fear and that I am letting Him lead me. When I do this, as any loving Master would, He takes hold of me.

Praise Him.

How Precious Is Unity

How Precious Is Unity
Philippians 4:1-10 reads:
1Therefore, my brothers, you whom I love and long for, my joy and crown, that is how you should stand firm in the Lord, dear friends! 2I I plead with Euodia and I plead with Syntyche to agree with each other in the Lord. 3Yes, and I ask you, loyal yokefellow, help these women who have contended at my side in the cause of the gospel, along with Clement and the rest of my fellow workers, those names are in the book of life.4Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! 5Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. 6Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.8Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. 9Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.

Unity it so important in all the things we do in Christ, especially because we operate as a team when we profess to be believers. Sometimes our personal opinions or perceptions can cloud our judgment when it comes to guarding the Unity of the body and this is just what the Devil prefers, our separation from one another. Therefore we have to be diligent, the phrase “Agree to disagree” does not apply when it comes to the word of God and it doesn’t promote unity when it comes to our opinions either. If anything it just encourages us to fixate on the idea that, “I’m right and He’s wrong …so let’s all leave it alone,” this in turn creates more division. A better way to look at things is, “Let’s not let our differences drive us apart or affect all that we are working towards. Let’s work towards remaining in agreement so we can concentrate on what God wants.”

People are going to come from all walks of life when we make Jesus our Savior so it’s to be expected that we might not all share the same experiences or personal preferences. However, when it comes to Unity, it’s our common ground we should be protecting, not that which pours out from our own hearts. We need to work extra hard to avoid pleasing our flesh and to remember our work in the Lord is too important to emphasis our own ideals.

In Philippians 4 we see that Paul cautioned against this mindset. He felt so strongly about this that he publicly encouraged Euodia and Syntche to agree. It appears these Women were having some sort of disagreement. Since they were such important workers in the Lord's kingdom a division could have easily brought about public discord and begin to affect others. This would have resulted in an overshadowing of the fact that Paul himself said they had contented by his side for the Gospel. Whatever the case Paul pleaded with them to maintain unity, he encouraged the ladies and others in the region to join in this effort. We must always keep in mind family we are better than petty arguments. This is just what the Devil would like for us, for us to lose sight of the goal. That is why we must all live and work together carefully.

The Devil would rather us be so distracted with the minor things in life and or not remain in harmony when it comes to the Word so much, that we throw in the towel on God’s work and in on God’s family. That is why we are reminded in this same passage of how we should be interacting. We should be gentle with one another, we should be praying, we should be coming to God with things and we should be thinking positive with Christ as the center. That’s what’s going to keep us on track and that is what is going to keep us unified. Let’s block the Devil’s efforts by remaining unified so that we might jointly bring God the glory.

Go team Christ!